Chapter 23. Sixteen Hours

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The second that I felt his body still I snatched my hands out of the frigid water and stumbled away from the metal tub. I couldn't top the tremors from ripping through my body at this point, and the choked out sobs that followed. I just killed him. I killed Stiles. The realization of this is far worse than any hallucination I could muster up in my mind.

I tried to wipe my wet hands on my jeans, they were going numb from the cold water-- and I needed to try and stop shaking as much as I am. They're going to be okay, Deaton said that they would be. I believe him, I have to believe him.

"Kasey, are you okay?" Deaton asked me softly.

My eyes squeezed shut as I nodded, "I need some air."

I then shoved my way out of Issac's attempt to hold me in place, stumbling outside of the animal clinic. The moment the door closed, I let out a mangled scream and fell to my knees. My insides were contorting in pain and my head was pounding. I don't care if I connect myself to either of them at this point, I would rather feel what they are feeling than this.

"Stop, Kasey stop." I muttered to myself, running my hands over my face and through my tangled mess of hair. I need to pull myself together, I can do this. My coaching attempt falls short as my panicked thoughts take over.

If all goes well. Only dead for a few moments. Stiles. Scott. Allison. Dead. Drowning. If. Dead. Stiles. Stiles. Scott. Stiles. Scott. Scott. Allison. Dead. Drowning. Mom. Deucalion. Jennifer. Derek. Stiles. Stiles. Dead. Sheriff Stilinski. Dad. Stiles. Scott. Scott. Allison. Jennifer. Sacrifice. Lunar Eclipse. True Alpha. Stiles. Scott. Stiles. Stiles. Stiles. Dead. Only for a few moments. Calm down. Admonere. Don't connect. Breathe. Stiles. Scott. Scott. Scott. Dad. Dead. Stiles. Scott.

My head is pounding and it won't stop. I have no idea what to do right now other than to just scream and cry. What else can I do? This was the worst possible outcome of the situation. Why did they have to be surrogate sacrifices? Was that honestly the only way to find our parents?

I can't keep doing this. I need to stand up, go back inside, and take control of myself. I need to be strong. I can do this. If anyone can do this, it's me. I've been through entirely too much shit to just give up now. I can't give up when we are so close to the end.

Shakily, I pushed myself up into a standing position and walked back into the animal clinic, wiping at my eyes and smeared eye make-up. Deaton, Lydia, and Isaac were all standing by the desk watching me with concerned expressions. My shirt has blood on it from my head wound that has completely healed, I need to change.

"Can someone take me home so I can get a change of clothes?" I asked, my voice hoarse from the amount of screaming I had done outside.

Isaac nodded, "Yeah-- I can."

"Thank you. We won't be gone long, call me if they wake up before we get back." I said to Lydia as I walked through the clinic and out the front door. It was drizzling at the moment, the storm slowing for the time being. Isaac walked beside me silently, jingling the keys to whomever's Lexus he had borrowed. I think it's Allison's.

The drive to my house was awkward and silent. I was trying to keep my thinking to a minimum so I didn't connect myself to Stiles, Scott, or Allison, but every time I my thoughts would finally stop-- more would flood in.

Stiles. Scott. Rain. Water. Drowning. Dead. Stiles. Dad. Mom. Deucalion. Lunar Eclipse. Jennifer. True Alpha. Sacrifice. Dead. Stiles. Scott. Allison. Stiles. Stiles. If all goes according to plan. Only dead for a few moments. Dead. Drowning. Stiles. Stiles. Stiles.

"Do you, um-- want me to come inside?" Isaac asked nervously as he pulled into my driveway. Do I want him to come inside? To be honest I don't really care if he does or not, but I guess I need to answer him.

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