A BROKEN HEART

A Broken Heart

As I drop the dirt from my hand in to the hole where she lays I can't help but to feel anger.

All the frustration and and pain that felt all this year take over.

I can't help but to cry and wish that it was him instead of her laying there dead.

If he only knew the hate I feel for him for hurting her for destroying every little bit of her

but most of all for making me.

Because the truth of the matter is that if I had never existed she would had been fine without

him. 

But no I was there reminder her everyday, that he was gone that he never loved her that he  

abandoned her. 

And know she dead and I can't bring her back she gone how can I look at Liz now and explain to  

her that its my fault mom is

gone that IM the one that started it all. "Emanuel" I hear at a distant but I can't stop

running I need to get away from here I can't stand to be there I know they all think the same

that it is my fault. God how did it came to this how can she be dead now that we were finally a

family why did u took her ?  

Emanuel is my name when I asked my mother why she named me that her answer was that it

means God send. Wow is that funny God send so I guess I was sent to destroy my mother life. No

I never told her that cause it would break her heart but that's how I felt. She had me at the

tender age of sixteen a child in her own right but she chose to have me . To give me life even

dough that meant giving hers up. Of the man that made I don't know much actually I don't know

anything I guess he was smart enough to not want me. I never got the courage to asked her once

in a while things would slip up but not much. After my mother had me she spend two weeks with me

than my aunt Lea adopted me legally and took me to be raise by her and her husband in Edmonton

Canada. But I always knew that truth that was the deal made, to others eyes I would be Lea's son

but I would know who my mother was that was the only thing she wanted for me to know who she was

even if no one else knew. I was raised in Edmonton a small quite town lea and her husband had

three kids of there own the oldest Felicia then Josh and Matt.