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If I Were A Boy

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A/N: I don't own the song or any of Beyonce's song. I merely used it to inspire my story. Yes, it has song lyrics on it, but I swear it's not mine. A songfic.

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If I were a boy

Even just for a day

Maybe, if I was the opposite gender, would I have understood what he's going through?

I’d roll outta bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted then go

"Good morning babe," Peter said as he kissed my forehead. We were both only 22 years old, yet we live together at this young age. He works at a company, while I work as waitress in a cafe. To this day was the day of his meeting to hold place for two days, so he's pretty worked up.

Yeah, right.

"How long is it going to be again?" I murmured, sipping my coffee. His eyes changed for a second, then he flashed me a smile. However I caught the glint of it. I knew, I always knew.

Drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls 

"About 2 days, baby. Lawrence invited me to a guys' night, so I figured it might as well overlap with my work," he said sheepishly, but that innocent tone didn't work for me at all. He was hiding something, that much I'm sure of. I realized his secret already anyway.

I faked a smile, and settled my coffee down. I stood up from my chair and wrapped my arms to him, hugging tightly. "Have a safe trip and remember to call. I'll miss you." He hesitated, then returned the hug. Like he wasn't sure I was the woman he fell in love a few years ago.

And it hurts when he makes me feel like I'm yesterday's thing.

I’d kick it with who I wanted

And I’d never get confronted for it.

Cause they’d stick up for me. 

I never told him what I knew, fearing that he would leave me and I'll be all alone. 

As he leaves to catch his plane, I phoned Lawrence,  Peter and I's friend. I asked him if he was going to have a party a few days from now, and he hesitantly said yes. From the first letter of his answer I knew.

Peter was lying to me.

Lawrence said they were going to have a few beers, but when I asked about a certain girl named 'Kim' he quickly said he doesn't know her and hanged up. But every scene that unfolds before me was like taking a sharp knife at my heart, and stabbing through it repeatedly.

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

Sometimes I wondered, if I was reversed roles, would I have done the same he does? To go through everyday with someone who loves you with all her heart but not being faithful to them?

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I’d be a better man.

If I was him, I would've turn everything right. I wouldn't lie and continue to decieve the person who cared for me, who believed my words like they were from the Bible.

I’d listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

I'd look into her silent pleading eyes and for once, drop everything. I would see how much hurt that those eyes contained and comfort her, assure her that she's the only for me and no one else.

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he’s taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But how come Peter can't see the pain I'm going through?

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

I've called his phone fifty times. Fifty. Yet he never answered every single one. I was worried. What was doing right now? Did he enjoy the party, did he had too much to drink? Or did the worse happened? But never once, did he even left me a reply with an explanation. Nothing.

Tell everyone it’s broken

So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone

When he got home after a few days, I was out all night staying up, trying to ease the worry I was feeling. When I saw him, he wiped off the satisfied look on his face and hugged me. I let myself to be touched, even if the obvious betrayal stings. How could he do this? Does he not care about me at all?

"Sorry, my phone broke so I couldn't answer anything. And besides, I was really busy. I'm really sorry." I only nodded silently in response. I never felt so low.

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