Random Jokes :D

Dedicated to
Nickupyoass

Random jokes:D

Enjoy :)

Not all joke are rated R jus the second 1 ....kinda

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Once there was a Chineese guy that just moved to America and didn't know ANY English. So he walks into an opera and hears a women saying "Meeeeeeeeeeeee" then he walks out

He walks into a diner and hears a guy saying " forks and knives" then he walks out

Then he walks into a candyshop and hears a lil boy saying "he stole my lollipop!" then he walked out

He was walking around town and a police stops him and asks him if he knows who killed this guy and the Chineese guy says "Meeeeeeeeeeee"

Then the police asks how he killed him and he says "forks an knives"

Then the police asks why and he says "he stole my lollipop!"

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Lil jhonny joke :D :

One day lil Johnny was playing outside and herd his neighbors saying " I'm gonna put my pe*is in ur v*agina"

Lil johnny went inside and asked his mom what a peni*s and va*gina

So she told him a peni*s is a hat and a va*gina is a coat

Then Lil Johnny herd his parents fighting and his mom called his dad a B*astard and his dad called her a bi*tch

Lil johnny asked his mom wht Ba*stard and b*itch mean and she told him a B*astard is a boy and a bi*tch Is a girl

Then Lil johnny walked past the the bathroom and his dad accidently cut himself shaving and yelled "shi*t!"

So he asked his dad what sh*it means and he told him it means shavingcream

Then Lil Johnny walked passed the kitchen and heard his mom yell "fuc*k!" because she cut her self making the turkey

So lil johnny asked his mom what fuk means and she told him its what u do to a turkey

Later Johnny herd the doorbell ring and saw that it was his cousins

"Hello u b*ithches and ba+stards , may I take ur pen*ises and vag*inas? My dad is upstairs wiping his s*hit off and my mom is in the kitchen fuking the turkey "

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Girl: How much do you love me?

Boy: Well, look at the stars and count em and that's how much ily

Girl: but it's morning....

Boy: Exactly ;)

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"mom texting son"

Mom: your grandma just died LOL

Son: what's so funny?

Mom: nothing

Son: You put LOL which means laugh out loud

Mom: Oops I thought it meant lots of love!