Beyond Repair

Chapter 1: My Fault

I finally unpacked my last box and my room was complete. The walls were aqua and the floor was dark wood with a turquoise fuzzy rug. I have a white queen bed with little roses engraved in it. They have a blue blanket and white comforters. I have four pillows, the white pillow I sleep on, a huge red heart pillow, two blue circle pillows and a sock monkey that I sometimes sleep with. I have a white dresser and a black vanity table with a mirror that lights up. Mom bought me it so I don't rush to do my hair or makeup. It comes in handy in my house.

Lastly I have a nightstand which has a blue lamp and a green picture frame which has a photo of my mom and me. We were at the beach and we were both smiling big. We had matched that year; we both were wearing a blue t-shirt that says ‘New York’ in big white, cursive letters, matching dark blue shorts and matching blue converse. We both had a big smile plastered on our faces and sported aviators. Hard to believe that was one year ago. Hard to believe that we we're actually so happy one year ago.

"Paisley dad said to hurry up!" My older brother Cole yelled banging on my door. I rolled my eyes. I don't get why dad had to make us go to the block party, I don't want to meet anyone but dad said we need to meet our new neighbors. I honestly hate talking to people and meeting them is even worse. All people ever do is judge you. But I was going for dad and we all have to make sacrifices.

Let’s pretend we’re a happy family.

I slipped my black hoodie over my All Time Low t-shirt. The hoodie looked good over my dark blue ripped up jeans and along with my black converse. I had my brown hair let down to cover my ears since dad didn’t like my cartilage piercing Mom took me to get it and dad was furious that we didn’t tell him so every time he looked at it, he got in a sour mood. So I just keep it hidden so we can avoid drama.

I sit at my vanity table and add some silver eyeshadow on my tan skin. It makes my eyes look not so dull. Then I apply some black liquid eyeliner which I make into a wing; I had a lot of time during winter break so I learned how to do makeup. I apply some lip gloss and then smile. The only way I’ll somewhat look beautiful is with makeup. Besides, if I feel more confident with it, why does anyone care? Makeup makes me beautiful and it makes me look alive.

I walk downstairs but take my time. I can hear shouting in the living room and I know my brothers are playing a video game. I never was one of those girls that enjoyed video games so I never was a cool sister. I still won’t ever be a cool sister. I’m just the sister you deal with because they’re family.

"Hey Paisley!" Evan, my other older brother, says. I’m guessing he lost the game and was banned from playing; that’s the rule, losers don’t get to play anymore. He swings his arm around my shoulder and leans against me. I probably could hold him but I don't have the energy to hold myself up, nonetheless him.

 Evan is tall and buff and pretty scary. He has blonde hair and blue eyes that have some grey in them. He always has a weird side smirk which is his signature and that’s closest you’ll ever get to a real smile from him. It’s been a while since it’s appeared. Right now he has his fake smirk. The one where he looks like he's happy but in his eyes you can see he isn't. But all that aside, he's your typically football player; tall, buff and dumb.

"What do you want Evan?" I ask shrugging his arm off. I didn’t realize that I was actually holding him up or that he had all his weight on me so when I shrugged his arm off; he fell on me. This was not pleasant because Evan was ten times heavier than me so when he fell on me; I was crushed. As he fell on me, I intersected with the wooden floor and then got the wind knocked out of me.

Evan fell weirdly. When he fell, his upper body was on me but his lower body on the stairs, how his legs got on the stairs is beyond me, but he was crushing me. He wasn’t making an effort to get off of me either. It’s been a minute since he fell on me and he’s still laying on me as if I’m a pillow. I can basically hear his smirk.