Within These Walls

Chapter 31

I find them at our table with Carson. "That girl was my block mate," Willow is saying, shaking her head. "She was unusually quiet this morning, but I had no idea anything was going on with her. It didn't even occur to me to check her eyes."

Willow looks better than usual. Her eyes are brighter, more alert. Which is odd; after the way she was crying in the shower room yesterday, I expected her to get barely a wink of sleep. She must have known we'd be put on lockdown after the Blank attack. That would explain why she was crying in the first place.

She trades a look with Alec as she speaks. It happens so fast no one would notice unless they knew what to look for. I wonder how many other surreptitious exchanges I've missed.

"I'm glad we don't have to worry about her blanking," Alec says with a shudder.

"Are you saying you approve of what Eli did to her?" I ask.

"No, of course not," he replies, surprised. "I'm not a psychopath like him."

"Maybe not, but you haven't been honest either."

He returns my frown. "What?"

"I remember."

Alec's frown deepens. My gaze flickers to Willow, who is staring blankly at me. "You remember what?" he asks in a confused tone.

I lean forward on my elbows. "Everything. The research facility. You and Alec. And the other kids."

Their silence tells me what I need to know.

"Huh?" Carson asks.

"I remember what you did to me," I say to Willow. "I also remember the promise you made. The one you didn't keep."

Not giving me back my memories is the worst thing she could have done to me. She deprived me of the chance to make sense of this place. Maybe then I could have done more. Tried harder to pull Baxter in before he was taken. Warned that girl the first day not to surrender and let them take her away. Saved Camille and all the others.

Willow's controlled expression doesn't change, but her voice is different, unfamiliar, when she says, "I don't owe you anything."

I rear back, surprised by the acidity in her tone.

"What promise?" Carson asks.

"It's not her fault," Alec answers. "They didn't give us a choice about telling you guys anything."

Willow's eyes are fixed on the far wall now. One of her hands is on the table, clenched into a fist. It's almost as if a whole different girl is sitting across from me, wearing Willow's girl-next-door-pretty face, but everything about her is so alien now. Her perky demeanor is gone, replaced by a sullenness so unlike her. What is going on?

"Who the hell are they?" Carson demands, looking from one face to the next. "And what didn't they want you to tell us? Can someone tell me what's going on?"

Alec sighs and turns to him. "Some of us grew up in a facility owned by Gardiner—the Takers. They experimented on us so they could turn us into Mods without triggering whatever makes us blank. It worked for some."

"Mods?" I ask.

"Modified human beings. Kids with mental abilities. Like Weasel, Lisa. Buzzcut." He glances at Willow. "We were thirty-nine kids growing up, but the six of us are the only ones left. The others . . . most of them blanked."

"And you're one of the Takers?" Carson asks.

"No, we're not one of them. We're just like you. Property of Gardiner."