Someone Else's Fairytale

Thirty-Four: My Fairytale

The jet sliced through the air, its engine so quiet, it was little more than a whine. Wisps of cloud formed at the wingtips and streamed away behind us. The sky was deep blue and the ground beneath us was brown, flat, and endless. The little bubbles in my champagne glass zipped upwards and gathered at the surface.

My ears popped as I swallowed a few times. Jason moved to pull me closer. I brought my knees up and rested them across his lap. It was hard to imagine I'd ever wanted to be just friends with him. How many months had I wasted that way?

Now I had a wedding to plan!

“I don't have a fairytale that would apply,” I said. “You want to update my childhood fairytale? My new fairytale would be that my kids never, ever have my old fairytale. They may not like me every minute of their childhood. They might wish their real mother was a princess in some mythical land, but everything they wish for, I hope it's stupid.”

“Stupid how?”

“Like, that they get chocolate for breakfast and new toys every day.”

“Or a boyfriend who also happens to be a movie star with a private jet and a mansion?” He chuckled.

“Right. Stupid stuff. Stuff that doesn't matter, because all the stuff that does matter? Like parents who love them and a safe and stable home? I don't want them to even have a clue what it would be like not to have those things.” I shrugged. “Doesn't apply to a wedding.”

But Jason's arms were tightening around me. “Yeah, it does.”

“What, chocolate and toys?”

“No, the other stuff. I can give you that. I can make that fairytale come true, and I will. You can count on me, okay? I promise.”

A strange sensation welled up in my chest and I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I dabbed at it with surprise.

"That happiness? I hope?" said Jason.

And I realized it was. More tears streaked down after that first one. That part of me I'd thought was broken past repair, wasn't so broken after all. I hadn't forgotten how to dream, I'd just stopped paying attention. I'd kicked aside every glimmer of hope and made do with what I had left, which was reason and hard work and all those things that made my life livable, but now I remembered what it felt like to not just look forward to a future of carefully won accomplishments, but to feel excitement, like I was embarking on an adventure and didn't know where it would lead, but couldn't wait to find out.

Jason dabbed my tears away with his fingertips. "You okay?"

I couldn't answer him, only grin. I think he got the idea.

***

When we landed in New York, the media were out in force. I turned on my cellphone and had five messages. Jason and I exited the cool interior of the plane and descended into the hot muggy air outside. A team of security all closed in around us, making a wall of black shirts, and ushered us to the waiting car.

Jason muttered something about stupid gladiator movies while we climbed back into the cool, air conditioned air. I laughed and ignored the commotion outside while I dialed my voicemail.

“Chloe, it's Kimmie.” My boss at the coffee shop. “It's a mob scene here, and I'm sure you know why. Congratulations, by the way. It's going to be very hard for you to keep working here the next couple of weeks. I'm not firing you, but I strongly suggest you quit.”

“I lost my job,” I said to Jason.

“Sorry.”

“No big deal.”