Tempe Minor

Take a look at the law man beating up the wrong guy. 

                                                    -Life on Mars by David Bowie

“Fucking criminal,” the man said as he slammed the door on me. He spat outside the sealed van the spit ricocheting off the dust. I smiled as I felt the old convey van shake with each bump on the non-existent road. I felt my hand around the door, escape would be easy, in fact I could do it with my bare hands, but that wasn’t my purpose. The vigilante and his van swayed through the raucous of the streets, parading me to my peers in the slums. A small window allowed me to show my face. Gasps sounded from the ever-coming crowd and I smiled. I waved good bye to the slums, I wouldn’t be wasting my life there anymore, I was off to somewhere much better. The van finally stopped at a check point my driver got out and was wanting to chat.

“So, I caught the infamous Kass de Luca,” he said chewing on some day old gum. He leaned in close, and I caught the faint smell of whiskey.

“So how does it feel Kass? Caught by the regular Joe,” he said, leaning in closer.

“Is alcohol still illegal in these parts?” I respond, my nonchalant attitude catches him off guard, but not for long. He slaps me. His stinging palm connecting with my soft cheek. I rub the side of my face, I have to hand it to him, he certainly packs a punch. He leers at me and I wonder when the checkpoint guards will get here. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a checkpoint the guard uniform has most certainly changed. It must be since the colour puce was made illegal, as it caused ‘large amounts of dissidence’. I spot one out of the corner of my eye, he’s making his way towards us and I see his red boots, and red jumpsuit, patterned like twenty-first century army camouflage. The guard is not that much older than me, he comes over to talk, not to me of course, but the driver. I give him a seductive wink, but he ignores me.

“Citizen two-zero-three-eight-six, do you confess that you willingly participated in burglaries across the state of New Earth?” the guard asks me.

“The name is Kass de Luca, surely you have heard of me before?”

“I will say it again; do you confess that you willingly participated in burglaries across the state of New Earth?”

“No,” I replied.

“No, but you came oddly willingly,” said the driver. I scoff at his confused face, did he think I was stupid enough to confess, that’s instant death in these parts. Besides I still had my street cred to think of.

“Your cheek is swollen, did you hit this woman?” the guard asked directing his attention to the driver.

“Only because she was resisting arrest, violence was needed,” he replied. The bastard knew how to get around the system. But I wouldn’t dare put him on an assault charge, assault charges led to my orphan status.

“You shall be transported and detained in the temporary prisoner planet Io…”

“Anything to get away from this shit planet,” I interrupted.

“…as I was saying, if found guilty you shall be placed on the Mars Prisoner Colony, where you will be sentenced to manual labour for between twenty to twenty-five years. Due to the lack of diseases on Io please strip and enjoy this chemical shower,” he said.

“Where’s the change tent?” I asked. An awkward moment of silence passed.

“You want me to strip, in front of you?” I yelled.

“Well, I have to check for weapons, you understand the position of authority I’m in?” the guard said, flashing his holographic identifier.

“I realise that, but I don’t want him watching,” I replied pointing to the driver.

“Sir, your job here is done, please leave,” the guard said. The driver grumbled as he climbed into his van. I watched as he did a U-turn and waved.

“See you in hell arsehole,” I called, the guard looked at me like I was deranged. Now, how was I going to get out of this situation, I didn’t exactly want him to see me naked.

“I thought you might have needed an excuse to get him away,” the guard said, grabbing a tape measure. I didn’t reply, the stupidity of me to not realise they had machines for everything these days, even the tape measure was automated.