Ego

Ego:Crestfallen

A/n: I don't like writing post breakups grr! (Extremely importante a/n at the end Pwease read it for snuggles)❤

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Nausea has become my best friend this past week and I use the term 'best friend' loosely. So has crying. I have never felt so empty even when my heart is so full. I brushed my teeth again for the fifth time today.

My phone vibrated signaling it was Harry's good morning text. I don't want to speak to him I just don't want anything to do with him right now. Marilyn has called me, Sean and my parents called nonstop but I disregarded all if them.

I shuffled around the to-large-to-hold-one person house looking for something to take my mind off Harry and the fact that I may or may not be pregnant. I don't want to watch tv everything that's on seems to be repeating itself and heavy food is not an option.

So I scream, I scream as loud as I can. I crumple into a heap in the living room floor. I scream and cry until my throat burns from overuse but it doesn't stop me. I welcome the burn it distracts me from the pain in my chest that won't subside. I break things, I empty a whole cabinet of crystal glasses. I sob as I sweep up the mess I created, careful to get every little shard.

I turn on the tv so the house doesn't feel so empty. I don't know what to do with myself. I won't let anyone onto the gated property so anybody who tries to visit is stuck about a mile and a half away from me.

My phone rings again upstairs, I climb the stairs and answer it.

"What?" I ask monotonously.

"Vally! Is everything okay?" Zayn's voice is all it takes for me to crumple onto the plush bedroom carpet. I swallow back a sob that creates a painful lump in my throat before I answer.

"Everything is great." Everything is a fucking mess.

"No everything is not. You sound the same way Harry does. He's been crying nonstop he tries to cover it up saying he was watching a sad movie or some bullshit like that but you both sound like you've been crying endlessly and as if the world is on your shoulders." I let out the choked sob clutching my knees to my chest tightly.

"I love him so much that I can't even hate him! Do you know how that feels? And to know your love has never been fully reciprocated feels like I'm being stabbed over and over again." My cries wrack my body as I clutch the phone for dear life.

"Where are you? We'll fly a plane out and you can stay with Gwen and the other girls, you should not be by yourself right now especially in your condition."

"I'm in Cheshire," I sniffle before continuing, "at my Nan's house."

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"Come on Val, at least eat something." I wanted to scream for them to leave me alone but I didn't I couldn't bring myself to be disrespectful to the people who have cared for me the whole two weeks I've been back. So I pretended to be asleep. It's been a whole two weeks without Harry. Things have gotten better for me but they are still bad. I don't cry myself to sleep as often as I use too.

"We know you're not sleeping but were going to leave the food right here." Gwen sat the food on the barren nightstand and left. I didn't eat. I stayed in the same position the whole night. I stared at the television that might as well have been turned off but I needed some light for my dark since my light is on the other side of the world.

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Short chapters with faster updates I'm talking one page? Or longer than normal chapters that take a little longer than two days? aLSO I WENT ON A RANT BECAUSE WATTPAD EFFED UP AND DELETED A CHAPTER!!! But thank you to the one who revoted. I did love your comments and I saved them (don't look at me like that, I'm sentimental) ❤

Rewriting Unchaste right now then it'll be back to normal.