Attention Seeping [ON HOLD]

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This story is currently being rewritten under the name of 'Leeroy'. Check it out on my profile.

- - - Attention Seeping - - - 

 Lies.

At the time you think nothing of it. You feel secure. They’ve believed you, and you’re happy they think nothing different of you.

You haven’t been judged.

Little do you know, the moment you tell that lie, you’ve broken a hole in your trust.

Later on that hole becomes a larger one, and it hits you right there, in your heart..

You can run away from your lies, that's for sure.

But the further you run, the bigger the cracks behind you become.

Eventually, you just trip over those lies, and fall into a pit of emotions.

A feeling of worthlessness.

Where nobody believes you, or in you.

Sure, lies make things easier in the beginning,

But you've got to ask yourself,

Is the ending worth it?

Me?

I'm just your average eighth grader.

That's a lie, right there. But at least now I’m owing up to it.

Hate to brag, but I really am popular as ever. I have many, many friends, a family to care for me - including two older brothers - and a very nearly girlfriend in the mix.

Sounds perfect, right?

Right?

To some extent. But in all honesty, nothing is ever perfect, no matter who you are. No matter where you come from, you're going to have flaws, mistakes, errors. Most of the time you can't help it, and you end up stranded in your own disappointment. But some people are better at hiding their problems better than others. 

So... You got me. I lied again.

My entire life is a lie, to put it simply.

To everyone else, I have a life that is as perfect as possible. They see me as 'Mister Unstoppable', the coolest, happiest person at Wattle Street High, without a care in the world.

I'm hiding my reality behind closed doors. I'm hiding my reality on the inside. I'm a master of disguise. It's like a reverse halloween party. A costume of glory, but a hideous truth underneath. 

Matthew, the older of my two brothers (by three minutes), is emo. No kidding. Nobody knows why, no-one at all, but at the start of eighth grade, Matt just, broke down. He went through depression, and as a matter of fact, still has it. He got into self-harm, and even had numerous suicide attempts.

Of course, from there the bullying began. Matt was given endless stereotypes, labels, names. He took it in, believed every word, and spiralled down so fast. No-one has been able to change the way he thinks, make him see that he can get through it. He's stuck in his own world, and we're all blocked out from it.

Not that I want to care. It's his own fault, and the rest of us have had to suffer for it. I sound stuck up for saying that, but it's the truth. All of our problems started because of Matt's self-pity.

So then there is Ayden. He's trouble. Way more trouble than most of the dodgy people I know, and to be frank, I know a lot of dodgy people. My school isn't exactly the most respectable of places. I only go there because that’s where the twins desperately wanted to go. It seems so silly now.

 Back to Ayden, he watched everything Matt went through, while I watched Ayden change into an absolute rebel. Three years passed, and he went from a straight 'A' student all the way to a total dunce. D's and E's were his cup of tea, and he didn't care.

All through ninth grade (last year) he was suspended at least every two weeks, then eventually got expelled. Fights every day, ridiculously long ones, which he always won. 

'If I'm gonna get in trouble for hitting them, may 'swell hit 'em twice as hard', he would say, with such a heartless feel to it.

After being expelled, Ayden started a fresh at a new school, but there hasn't been a week where he hasn't gotten into a punch up. 

There was even a time when Ayden joined a gang of 'rebels'. He went to parties all the time, was a total party animal, got into drinking, drugs, all that stuff.. Oh wait. Was? He still does. He even tried to convince me to come along one time. He bashed me and left me to bleed when I refused. See what we’re dealing with here?