Past Lovers

Past Lovers. 7

Three years prior.

* * *

"I cannot believe you, all you care about is yourself," Hayden screamed, throwing down her briefcase. "I ask you to do one thing, one thing, and you can't even deliver." 

"Forgive me for not wanting to be your bitch," I yelled back.

Ever since Hayden got promoted, the dynamic in our household has greatly changed. She's working longer hours, and making more money. Her duties at work have increases, causing her duties at home to decrease. As pathetic as it seems, I feel like every day she's stealing a little more of my masculinity. 

"I can't do it all, Chase, I can't. We're a team, we're supposed to help each other out," she shrieked. "You can't even help out around the house." 

"Maybe I don't want to help out around the house," I rebutted. "Maybe, for once, I want to call the shots." 

"When you start making money, then you can call the shots, but all you do is sit on your ass and write . . . newsflash, in this economy, that's not going to cut it. So I have carry the load for the both of us, because you refuse to get a job." 

I slammed my fists down on the coffee table. "You know I want to, but unlike you, I didn't get a degree in something that opens a lot of doors."

"Well, who's fault is that?" She crossed her arms, and glared at me, her chocolate eyes filled with tears.

"How do you think I feel? Knowing that I can't provide for my wife, that I can't take care of you. How do you think I look at myself? I'm a failure, I'm a failure of a husband."

She burst into sobs. Obviously, I had grazed a soft spot. 

"That's not true . . . that's not true."

"You damn well know it is, Hayden, I know you're thinking it."

She collapsed on the couch, and threw up her hands. "So, what if I am? What if I'm tired of being let down by you, time and time again. This isn't how I wanted us to be, this isn't how we should be."

I shook my head at her, and sighed. "So then, let's fix it." 

"I don't know if we can . . ."

"Goddammit," I bellowed. "Don't say that. Don't give up on me again."

"How can I not? It never gets better. We keep trying, and we keep failing. What's the point anymore?"

"What's the point? How can you say that? Don't you love me? Isn't that enough?"

She bit down on her lip, and let the tears fall from her eyes. "Maybe not . . . maybe not anymore."

"You can't do this Hayden, you can't just put me on this roller coaster and act like it won't hurt me."

She rose up to her feet, and stared right at me. "Oh, so it's okay for you to hurt me, but not okay for me to hurt you," she cried. "Whatever, Chase, I see how it is. I'm done, with you, with this. I don't need this shit," she spat, before stomping to our bedroom and slamming the door.

"Fuck you," I screamed in response, as I grabbed my coat and headed out the door. 

Once I was out on the street, I headed for the closest pay phone. I just needed somebody to listen.

Feeding the phone two quarters, I called up the only person I knew would be there for me.

"Hello?"