Giving Up 2/5

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These preferences are already like extremely sad, I'm not going to lie right now. If you want to really make the preferences like more intense listen to "Good Enough" by little Mix as you read these. I listened to it while I was writing them. Hope you enjoy!

Louis- I don't know what's wrong. Everything, it seems like everything around me is going to absolute hell. Music helps me, writing helps me, but school, my family, and my friends don't. At all. Not that I want to, but I feel like it's my time. I've lived, I've done my years and I think my clock has ticked off. I'm done. I drag everything on, I'm just a fucking screw up. Look at my body. The scars may be invisible to you, they may be hidden, but if you look close, they're there. They captivate the precious skin wrapped on my bones. They don't fade, they don't disappear, they stay. They're the only way to see how unhappy I really am, and they don't even come close to explaining it. I push it all away, I push away anything that could make me smile, or make me happy, but then again I push anything that could hurt me. It makes life easier, but it's also lonely. I know how lonely it is, I've been doing it for years. I know this is going to hurt Louis, but hel'll be okay without me. He'll be better without me. I walk over to the desk in the corner of my room and begin to write my final goodbyes. I address the letter to Louis and begin writing.

"Dearest Louis,

I don't really know what I'm doing, but it feels right. I'm sorry that I cant be there for you anymore, but you must not feel guilty or bad about this, I know you'll be better off without me. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say except that I love you, more than you could ever know. You're the most perfect person I have ever met. I still remember the first thing you said to me, you spilled coffee on me and you looked so nervous, but I smiled, I knew I loved you. Please don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault in anyway. It's my fault, I'm not strong enough. Stay Strong Louis. Love You To The Moon and Back, Forever and Always.

Please Forgive Me,

(Y/N)

I folded the note and  signed his name on the outside. I stood up and headed to the kitchen. I scavenged through the cabinet searching for any pills in my hand. I sat on my bed and stared at the note I left for Louis. I inhaled deeply, letting it sink in, that I'd be taking one of my last breaths. i picked up a bottle and dumped the pills into my hand.

Harry- "You don't deserve Harry." "Harry can do so much better than Y/N" "Y/N's a beard, she just needs to kill herself and let Larry be happy." This was typical. The comments you got were on average much much worse. Harry knew you got hate, but he never know that it had gotten so extreme lately. You knew that what they were saying was true and always ended up taking it all out on yourself. Life hurt. Life hurt living. You never were happy anymore. Sleep was practically nonexistent and smiles were always fake. You were so unhappy, and you wanted to leave so badly. The things his fans said, the death threats that you received, well you were about to make the fandom happy. It was time to leave, time to escape the torture you have had to endure for so many years. Harry tried to help so much, and it was just not working. It broke your heart when you saw him buy your fake smile. It felt like he didn't actually know you. You decided you couldn't leave harry completely clueless so you sat down and began to write him a letter. You inhaled deeply and tried to calm the falling tears that forced themselves to escape. You scribbled frustrated that the pen wouldn't write. Went your messy lines began appearing you wrote

Harry,

I have a confession, an awful confession. As happy as I seem, as many smiles as I have, I'm broken inside. It feels like I'm hollow, like my heart has shattered and nothing is there. I can't describe how awful I feel. You were always there for me, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't be happy. I wanted to be happy with you, wanted to have a smile that was real, I wanted to feel like I used to, but I don't. You are perfect. Harry, you are absolutely perfect to me, and I love you so much. I love you, and I'm sorry for what I've done to myself. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry you had to see my scars, I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I'm sorry for so many things that the list could drag on and on, but most of all, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. You mean the world to me, and I'm just so sick of disappointing you. I love you Harry Styles, please don't take this out on yourself. Keep singing, keep smiling, keep being you. 

I'm sorry, I love you forever

Y/N

I folded the letter and placed in on the bathroom counter. I grabbed my razor and felt the cold metal tingle my hand. I closed my eyes and smiled slightly. I placed the small razor on my wrist ever so gently. I tensed as I watched the blood trickle down my wrist. I saw a single drop fall and land on the letter I had written to Harry. I cried when I saw that. I spoke in a silent whisper as the tears completely blurred my vision. "I'm sorry Harry" 

WANT PART TWO ON THE 'YOU'RE HURT AND HE'S NOT THERE' PREFERENCES???? THEN YOU HAVE TO GET FOREVER GONE TO 400 READS AND 30 VOTES. YOU'RE REALLLLLLY CLOSE!!! 

Also I could do a part two on these, lemme know!

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