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The New Boy [boyxboy]


Tuesday, 11th October, 2011


So this is Andie’s reaction from when I told her about Gary and I taking a break:


AlexIsGay: You online?

AnDIE: What else would I be doing?

AlexIsGay: Homework? Chores? Spending magical quality time with your family?

AnDIE: Don’t make me sick. What’s up?

AlexIsGay: What makes you think anything is up?

AnDIE: I feel it in my booooooooones.

AlexIsGay: -_-

AnDIE: Cos I know you, loser. Tell me.

AlexIsGay: Gary and I temporarily broke up today.


AlexIsGay: Andie?


AlexIsGay: This is why we’re friends. Because you are so supportive.

AnDIE: Sorry. Really. No but seriously. I’ve said it from the start, you can do so much better than that ass-wipe.

AlexIsGay: In this town?

AnDIE: Well, yeah. I know it’s not exactly teeming with homosexual talent, but there are some cute guys who are way nicer than Gary. Maybe no so good-looking, maybe not so smart, maybe not so nerve-wrackingly perfect all the time, but they’d sure as hell treat you a way better.

AlexIsGay: Always assuming that any of them would even be interested in me.

AnDIE: You can’t let fear of being alone drive you to stay with somebody who doesn’t deserve you.

AlexIsGay: This from the girl who will kiss anything with a penis if it shows interest in her.

AnDIE: Harsh.

AlexIsGay: Yeah, sorry, that needed an emoticon, didn’t it?

AnDIE: It did. Anyway, point is I’m just having fun. You know I’m not a relationship kind of girl, I don’t deal well with commitment. YOU, on the other hand, thrive on it, which is why I can settle for subpar and you can’t. You develop a sentimental attachment. I simply move along to the next penis-supporting organism. Like a sex-loving butterfly.

AlexIsGay: You should submit that to a poetry competition.

AnDIE: I just copied and pasted it into my About Me section on Facebook. Watch the Friend Requests roll in!

AlexIsGay: I love you :)

AnDIE: And I love you. Significantly more now that you’re single.

AlexIsGay: As a penis-supporting organism?

AnDIE: Oh yeah baby. Get in mah bed.

AlexIsGay: I’m learning some valuable lessons on how to attract men here. Please go on.

AnDIE: Shut up and goodnight.

AnDIE has gone offline.


So it turns out I’m a commitment-aholic. That’s nice to know.

                What’s also nice to know is that pretty much everyone had the same reaction when I told them Gary and I were on a break. My mom looked relieved and said she’d always thought he was a bit too possessive of me; my dad said he was glad I’d finally dumped the controlling bastard and now I could settle down with Andie (denial? Should I be concerned? Is it because of the divorce? Or was it a lame attempt at humour?); Teegan smiled knowingly like she’d been expecting it all along, and Dexter gave me a hug and said he was proud of me (I know. It’s already ingrained so deeply into my memory that I’ll probably dream about it for several weeks).

                But whatever. I’m gonna try not to think about it, and see how I get on living my life without a boyfriend. I’ve been with Gary since I was fourteen and it’s time to see what I’m like as a single person, as a whole rather than a half.

                And my friends are being totally supportive. They’ve got lots of things lined up for us to do over the next couple of weeks so I keep busy and don’t dwell on things. Granted one of them is taking Paulie Morgan on a group date with Teegan and the rest of us but I don’t think being around people who are in the process of getting together will upset me too much since they’re both straight and I don’t fancy Paulie Morgan (or Teegan). Plus Dexter is in pretty much exactly the same position as me so we can always just rely on each other for a depression session if it gets to be too much for us.

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Mitch Heweras Dexter
Gemma Wardas Teegan
Alex Evansas Alex
Dani Goreas Andie

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