Going Deep Enough

January 1, 2012

Dear Charlie,

            It is the New Year Charlie, and I have decided to leave with Jeff. I know…I know…it’s rash. You always hated me when I made rash decisions, but this time Charlie, I know it’s going to be good. Jeff has a house in Hawaii and we are leaving tomorrow. Hawaii! Can you believe it? Remember how we always used to want to go to Hawaii? We never had the chance to. Well, Jeff has made this possible. Oh, Charlie. I know that you would just love Jeff. If you had met before…well, before the accident, I am sure that you would have been great friends. I don’t love Jeff, not like I love you Charlie, but he makes me happy and for now, I need that. I need some happiness in my life. I don’t know if you are going to wake up. I don’t know if you are going to ever read these letters. I don’t know if you even love me Charlie. How could I know? You’ve left me Charlie, and I haven’t realized it until now. You changed my life. You made me who I am today, and I will forever hold that in my heart. We have a wonderful daughter, and we have cherished millions of memories together; memories that will last for the rest of my life. I want you to realize that I have not been truthful enough with you, Charlie. You kept your secrets like I kept mine. My few secrets were not as…scandalous as yours, yet they were secrets nonetheless. Charlie, I have dug into my soul and into my heart to bring back these painful memories. I have done this just for you. So please know this, before you read the remainder of my letter, know that I love you. I always have and I always will. Even though I will be in Hawaii, Charlie, when you wake up, I will be next to you. I will get on the nearest plane, by myself (shocker, right? After almost seventy years, Charlie, I will be getting on a plane and flying), and I will fly to you. I will lay down with you. I will love you. Charlie, please remember this, remember that what you are about to read is not my fault. It is merely the act of God, but remember, what you did Charlie, what you did was your fault. You cheated on me. You slept with another woman. You slept with my best friend.

I am trying to hold back my tears as I write this, for I know that this will be my final letter to you. Charlie, I love you. My whole heart aches to be with you, near you, yet I know that what you did was wrong, and for that, I hate you. Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? If so, that is what I feel for you Charlie. That is how I feel right now. You make me cry. You make me laugh. You make me happy. You make me sad. Charlie, I love you, and for that reason, and that reason only, I kept this secret from you. Please do not hate me for not telling you, I only did it to protect you.

            I remember how you always wanted a boy. You always wanted to be able to teach a boy to fish, and catch a baseball. You wanted a boy that would go on adventures with you. Charlie, we almost had that boy……I am sorry; my hand is shaking right now as I am trying to write this. Charlie, when I was thirty-two, I was pregnant with a boy; a baby boy. As you know, he didn’t make it. I hadn’t known that I was pregnant and I remember drinking. I drank an entire bottle of wine one night, and the next day, I was bleeding all over the bathroom. Luckily, you were gone on a “business meeting” that weekend. That was the hardest time for me. I had suspected that you were seeing someone else, as your “business meetings” kept getting longer and longer. I busied myself with George and tried to fight out the feelings of sadness and regrets that you brought into my mind. And then Charlie, that Christmas Eve, you were with her, and…and the crash happened. Were you drunk Charlie? Were you drunk with her love? You don’t realize how much you hurt us-both me and George. Charlie, if you live, which I honestly hope you do, just know that this was your entire fault. This was not the work of God. It was the work of you. Please remember that I do not hate you Charlie. This letter may seem harsh, but finally, after years, I am able to speak the truth. I still love you Charlie. Remember that. Just know that I have tried to go deep enough into our dark past and pull up what is light. Just remember that.

I will love you forever and for always.

Your ever loving wife,

Jo

The End!

I MET THE 2000 WORD REQUIRMENT! I hope you enjoyed my short story!