You pretend (and tell people) that you know Mandarin because you can speak Cantonese.

You started singing karaoke when you were five.

You are an expert in mahjong.

You tip only 10%.

You prefer Sony.

You have more than 30 cousins.

You confuse Welcome with Wellcome.

You have many credit cards.

You have more than two DVD players at home.

You wear famous brand clothes: DKNY, Versace, Chanel, Polo, etc. even though all your Polo shirts are from ladies' market.

You always have the latest mobile phone.

You play badminton.

You drink vita soy.

You love to go yum cha.

Your friends ask you if Hong Kong is a country.

You call a lot of your friends Fei Jai.

You've lost a lot of money on the Mark Six.

You know what it means when you call someone inch.

You eat instant noodles too often.

You've dyed your hair before.

You are studying engineering, business management or law.

You try to avoid pork chops. And i'm not talking about the food.

When you go back to Hong Kong, the last thing your smoking friend asks you is to buy them a carton of Reds.

You read "tsing tao" instead of "world journal" or "china press."

You party at Club 7-11.

You ALWAYS buy real software and DVDs. ALWAYS.

You never order appetizers at a restaurant.

Your Chinese handwriting really sucks.

You build a mountain of salad when you eat in Pizza Hut.

Your stationery has pictures of your favourite cartoon character.

People accuse you of having (and starting) SARS.

Your foreign friends don't mess with you because they think you know kung fu.

You have a collection of model robots, built or yet to be built.

If someone buys something, you brag about how its cheaper in Hong Kong.

When you leave HK, you always stock up on duty free at the airport.

When having dim sum, you rinse your dishes in hot water before you eat.

You have two middle initials instead of the usual one.

You spit bones and food scraps on the table.

You have heaps of shoes and slippers blocking the entrance to your home.

Your kitchen is coated in a film of sticky grease.

Your cook top is covered with tin foil.

You buy $10 VCDs.

You hate nerds, even though you are one.

You ask, "when are you going back to Hong Kong?" instead of "when are you going to Hong Kong?".

You miss the drinks and snacks that you can only get in Hong Kong.

You have a Walkman, Discman and Minidisk player that you don't use anymore because you use an MP3 player.

You use tick tick pencils instead of regular pencils.

You've played all the computer games that have ever come out.

You play ... err ... you ARE the Street Fighter Champion.

You show off your mobile phone that you got in Hong Kong "for cheap."

Your luggage is near empty when you arrive in HK, and it's full when you leave.

You expect to pay for transport in other countries with your Octopus card, only to be disappointed.

You've owned a pair of Bak Faan Yu.

If your are a guy you are keen in military stuff (guns, aircraft, tanks), but you're too pussy to be a soldier.

You inherit your elder brother's clothes and your younger brother inherits your clothes.

You once had loads of 4wd model cars.

You've had a Tamagotchi.

You have a PlayStation, Gamecube, Xbox and you will get the Xbox 360 soon.

You use Bak Fa Yao.

Justin's gay.

You have at least one shirt that says "Hong Kong" on the front.

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

You use Park 'N Shop bags as binliners.

You always leave your shoes at the door.

You have a piano in your living room.

You can twirl your pen around your fingers.

You eat red bean popsicles.

When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.

People ask you if there are trees in Hong Kong, and they don't believe you when you tell them that 76% of HK is green.

You wish you were Son Goku.

Or that you had Ding Dong's pouch.

Owning a Mercedes Benz means you are well off, but it's nothing compared to owning a lawn mower - the ultimate status symbol.

You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

You beat eggs with chopsticks instead of a fork.

You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.

You're in another country and everything moves so slowly.