Like Yesterday

Chapter 2

I was awake all night, thinking about all the possibilities to avoid Jace Hamilton at all cost. And so when the morning light caved in, I came to an ultimate realization that every alarm clock had to be annoying at some point in time.

I was never bothered by the fact that it had woke me up each morning, and that I instinctively pushed the snooze button each day. However, last night, it kept on ticking, every scrutinizing second, keeping me wide-awake. I shouldn’t have considered buying one after all. My cellphone could handle that job much nicely.

And so after one useless effort of getting some decent sleep, I dragged myself out of bed. As I was getting ready for the day, Grandma and her little store oceans away came into mind. But it wasn’t like she would pay me enough if I would watch the store for her, so I disregarded that idea. And to think that it wasn’t as if I could afford the plane ticket to even go to her place. So definitely, it was out of the picture.

I also thought about my different options, like working in a diner or something, and the longer the working hours, the better. Even if I had to work for sixteen hours a day, I would do so, as long as I could avoid being seen by everyone at the beach. Working in the morning and coming home late sounded quite a brilliant plan. If things could turn out that way, then I would have less time to hang around our house. And if that would happen, then the possibility of me seeing him would be less. So maybe avoiding him was possible after all.

And as all those things trickled in my head, I opened my bag to get my purse. Something had caught my attention. I noticed that one piece of white paper which reminded me of what I'd certainly missed – I couldn't quit no matter that. It stressed out that since yesterday, I had been employed by the owner of the beach and there was no turning back option for me. My signature at the end of the paper attested to all that.

Crap.

Double crap.

I totally forgot about that one odd contract. Who would have thought that an odd contract would hold me back, never let me have the opportunity to at least hide myself? I held my head in between my hands and suddenly felt a headache creeping in. So by now, I simply had no choice but to stay eight hours a day at the beach, meeting every single person in town, including him. Just what did I do for him to torture me this much?

Then I heard that voice in the back of my head which told me, You've done quite enough damage, don't you think?

Looking to my right to grab my phone, I caught a glimpse of my old guitar that was covered with dust. I stood still on my tracks, staring at it. Ever since that day, I never used it again. I thought about throwing it away, but I couldn't. ‘Cause in fact, that yellow, glitter-filled guitar was still holding a part of me that, at times, even I never wanted to let go.

But all that had to change today. There was no way I could reminisce the past when I was planning on how to hide from him, or if necessary, counter attack whatever he was planning to do. I couldn't afford being distracted by this guitar that never failed to remind me of what had happened before.

I paused, realizing how ‘before’ was such a distant word to me now. Back then, it was like I was obliged to think happy thoughts about him… us if lucky. I closed my eyes, remembering the time when we first met, when we first had a conversation, and when I couldn’t possibly imagine my life without him anymore.

It was two days after I found out that Mason had feelings for my other best friend, Claire, when I first talked to Jace Hamilton. At that time, Claire was clueless. Yes, she was in every way thoroughly uninformed about Mason's feelings. And I felt awkward just by being around them, thinking if I should just scram and leave them alone so that they could fall in love more easily.

And the fact that she and I shared the same passion of going after Jace Hamilton, shouting I love you, Jace Hamilton in all of their performances, it was even uncomfortable with Mason around. Sure, I wanted to babble along with her as she continued talking about Jace all day long. But seeing Mason's face made me feel guilty. It was like he was silently screaming for us, or more specifically, for her to shut up. The more I paid closer attention to his unspoken words and the evident hurtful expression in his eyes, I felt worse.