Call Me Ella (ft. Niall Horan)

Chapter 20 - Breakup

Chapter 20 - Breakup

There are things I would like to forget. Things I’ve seen that I wish I had never seen. Some of them are just very traumatising, others make me feel terrible with myself; they make me feel like I’m a bad person. All what my dad wanted was for me to be happy, for me to be a good person. And I know I shouldn’t feel guilty right now, but I can’t help it. I know it’s partly my fault, as well.

In the morning the day after Niall told me he was going to break up with Zoe, after I cleaned both floors, I was helping on the hall to receive a new guest when I see her, leaving, tears streaming down her face as she struggles to carry all her luggage. Her hair a mess, her makeup all over her face and the fact that a model doesn’t care about that tells me enough. I leave Fred alone and go after her, knowing that I shouldn’t do this, but I can’t help it. She just looks like a wreck.

“Excuse me, do you need help?” I say and she stops, one of her bags hitting the floor due to the abrupt of her stop. “Are you okay?”

She sobs and cleans her face, the mascara still leaving stains on her perfect skin. “No, I’m not,” she cries, sobs shaking her body. “I’m so stupid. Why? Can you tell me why did I ever think that I could make him love me again? Why did I hope this could get better? I tried so hard. I did my best. I forgave him for so many things and he just… he just…” And she breaks down, letting all her bags hit the floor as she covers her face with her hands. “Why did he stop loving me?”

I don’t know what to do, she looks so broken, so fragile and I don’t even understand how she feels. I can tell she still loves him and it’s not only that he broke up with her, it’s that she lost the battle she was fighting, that battle to keep him with her.

Now I understand what Charlie meant, that this wasn’t fair. She had hopes, she fought and she lost. If Niall had done this before, when things started to deteriorate, it wouldn’t have been so terrible for her. If he had had the balls instead of encouraging her to believe they could still fix something by coming here it wouldn’t be this bad. And I made things worse by going to him at the ball.

Maybe, if I hadn’t gone to him that night, they would’ve fixed this.

Maybe, if I hadn’t gone to him that night, they would still be together.

Or maybe this would’ve ended like this anyways.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pitying her. She really loves him, she doesn’t deserve this pain.

Zoe looks up at me and I feel like such a hypocrite for being here when I know that Niall completely gave up because he thinks he can find his mystery girl, when I know that girl is I. When I know I’m the one who finished killing their relationship.

The model doesn’t reply, she jumps to my arms and I feel so bad, so terrible for this but I hug her, I give her comfort. I couldn’t save her relationship but maybe I can give her some comfort when she needs it the most. And she cries on my shoulder.

In this moment she’s not Niall’s ex girlfriend, she’s not a celebrity, she’s not a perfect model… she’s just a broken girl, someone who loved too much and lost the man she loved.

I don’t say anything else, I just hug her and let her cry until she can pull back, a bit more composed. She takes a deep breath and cleans her face. She even looks for some tissues in her purse and removes the mascara from her cheeks. “I’m a mess,” she says, a soft sob escaping her lips.

“You still look beautiful,” I say with a smile and she looks at me with gratitude. “And he’s an idiot. I bet you’ll find someone so much better, someone who will really cherish you like you deserve.”