2 Regretful Memories

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Last Updated: 9 July 2017

The picture you see above (by me) expresses how much Mousefern cherishes Wheatkit. (Inspiration taken from Mizu-no-Akira's warrior cat drawings!) At the end of this chapter you may understand why. Or, I wonder, will it leave you with more questions?

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The silver, dark-flecked she-cat was surprised by Wheatkit's sudden appearance in the nursery. She was even more surprised when he started to say his first words in a mumble. But, her fur quickly prickled with dread as he cried the hateful things she had hoped he would never, ever have to hear. "Sssh, Wheatkit! It's going to be all right!" she comforted desperately.
"No!" His blue, blue eyes bled pain like a fresh wound. "I'm the deputies' son, and I made myself look like a mouse-coward out there! Yeah. A mouse-coward. That's what they think."
"W-Wheatkit!" Mousefern was taken aback, and glad Birchflower was dozing, "They wouldn't think that!" An old tom's sigh rang in her ears: Young kits are easily influenced.
"Yes they do, Russetdawn and those blurry shapes!"
Russetdawn? Mousefern suppressed the fierce love that flared inside her. If she let it control her, she would impulsively accuse Russetdawn in front of her Clanmates, with little evidence. But...resolution surged inside her. Wheatkit was part of the Clan as any cat. So why should he be shunned at such a young age? Kithood was the time of joy and prosperity, not fear and loneliness.
The answer was obvious.
Russetdawn had spilled the Secret.
Fury burned inside Mousefern. How dare she! After the Clan been through so much already... But if she hadn't broken that...
Hurtful images of the past flashed before her, but she shoved them away. Grief struck like a claw, but she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her. Breathe, Mousefern, explain this to Wheatkit slowly, gradually. He can't cope otherwise.
"My precious," she whispered, "There's something you shouldn't know about. I don't know why I'm even mentioning it, because if you uncovered anything at all, our lives will be in danger. All of us in danger. You in danger. Perhaps I am turning kittypet-brained. Am naive. Or just love so much that it-"
Innocent blue eyes stared like vast sky. "Mother? What are you talking about?"
Pain stung the burdened mother. He wasn't ready. She would have to wait. More cats would have to-
"Nothing?" Comfort came out as a feeble question of distraction. "My rambling will make sense when you're older. And we can find those nasty cats afterwards and report them to Hawkstar, how about it? Quiet now, the others are returning..."
His trembling had stopped, and now Wheatkit rested. He buried his sweet muzzle into the protection of her belly, suckling. His fierce new emotions projected pain onto the young queen, but she didn't mind. His pain was her pain. His life hers. Their bond never broken. Mother and kit.

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In a way, it's a shame,
All you were once fades away,
On the hour,
Dreadful hour,
Fate has no sympathy.

For survival,
You turn your heart away from the pain of memory.
Lost in the past,
In vain I grasp,
And I grasp.

Though nothing lasts,
Still I'm unable to let go of that eerie melody,
I can hear but never sing.

Time's lament,
For things we can't forget,
In a way it's okay.

All you were once fades away,
On the hour,
Dreadful hour,
Regretful,
Painful,
Memory...

Memory - Books On Fate

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