Chapter 1

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It started with my brother’s wedding.

The people closest to us argued that everything started months ago, way earlier than I thought. But the turning point for me will always be the wedding, the day when I was no longer (blissfully) ignorant of what was happening, or what had happened, to be more specific.

I guess I could have found out about it earlier if I wanted to…except I didn’t. I was busy—with work and with the said wedding, which was a family affair, and family affairs were big things in the De Castro clan. My plate was full and I couldn’t afford to be distracted by other news. These were all valid reasons, but I still felt guilty because I knew they weren’t valid excuses to be an absentee best friend in the past six months.

All of this guilt because of the news that reached me as the wedding reception was winding down. “So, Rain. Where’s Mark?” one of my good friends, Meah Constantino, asked casually.

I looked up from my dessert and tried very hard not to make a face at the sound of my best friend’s name. I knew someone would eventually ask me about him, and I was ready for it, really. Except that hearing his name still gave me a mix of the flutters and that strange sensation of being sick to my stomach. I should have been used to that already but it felt like the shock of hearing his name will never wear off.

“He’s busy,” I replied. I shoveled a forkful of cake into my mouth in hopes of stopping her from asking further questions.

Like that would have stopped Meah. We go way back; we met in high school, but we weren’t really friends until we saw each other again in our organization in college. She was one of the few people other than Mark who knew me really well. Her clinical psychologist training taught her to read facial expressions and body language. Combined with her unusual persistence and her carefully crafted questions, she almost always got us to spill our guts to her.

“But did you invite him?” she asked.

“Yes, I did. And he said he was busy.”

I was telling the truth. Never mind that I waited until the last minute to send him a very formal message, one that sounded like I sent it to many people and not just to him. It was the thought that counted, right? A small part of me wanted him to be at the wedding, but I honestly was more relieved when he apologized he couldn’t make it because he had a client presentation he couldn’t put off.

“You really invited him?” she repeated.

“I did, I promise.” I focused on my scraping the icing off my plate as I spoke, careful to avoid meeting her eyes.

”When did you invite him? Was it on the same day you invited us?”

“No, I invited him yesterday,” I said absently, before I realized what I had said. The answer just slipped out, and it was too late to take it back. Darn this Meah.

“Aha!” she exclaimed triumphantly. I felt my face turn bright red. “So I guess we can say that you really didn’t want to do it, huh?”

“Meah, stop going shrink on me,” I complained, waving my icing-filled fork in the air before licking it all off. “Fine, I invited him at the last minute, okay? At least I still did. Plus, Kuya Raymond only gave me a few seats to invite some of my friends, so I had to prioritize.”

Again, that wasn’t a lie. There weren’t many people I wanted to invite, save for Meah and our other friend from college, Faith Alvarez, but she already had an honorary plus-one invitation because she was my cousin’s girlfriend. The rest of the people I invited were my friends from the office who also knew my brother when we still used to carpool. The wedding was on a weekday, though, so some of my co-workers were not able to make it, and I had extra seats prior to the day. That meant I could have invited Mark then, and I knew he would have made time for this since his job as a freelance graphic designer and video editor gave him a flexible schedule. He would have saved the wedding in his calendar if I had told him about it earlier, or even rescheduled the meeting with his client if he had enough notice. So I did think about inviting him several times, but pushed it later and later until it was the day before the wedding, and I knew it was too late for him to make arrangements.

It was not that I didn’t want to talk to him (admittedly, sometimes, I didn’t); it was more of I didn’t know how to talk to him without avoiding having to talk about his love life. He kept on talking about it the last time we spoke several months ago, and no, I did not want to hear about it anymore.

Plus, what if he asked to bring a plus-one?

Like I said—I win at being the world’s crappiest best friend.

It seemed like that was the end of our discussion because Meah excused herself and left. My relief was short-lived, however, because a minute later, she returned with Faith. I watched them approach, Meah’s tall, slender frame a contrast to Faith’s short and curvy physique. They appeared to be whispering furiously with each other as they walked, and only stopped talking when they got closer to the table. They sat down beside me.

I glanced from one friend to another. When I looked at Faith, she asked me point-blank: “So I heard you almost didn’t invite Mark. Why?”

I groaned. Of course, they would have done a tag-team on me. “Why does it matter? He’s probably with his girlfriend,” I replied. I wish I could say I didn’t cringe at the last word.

They exchanged looks. Meah nodded at Faith, who shook her head slightly but was rewarded with a pointed look. Faith sighed. They knew something I didn’t know, obviously, and I waited for one of them to break down and just tell me, even if a part of me was itching to ask.

“Are you mad at Mark, Rain?” Faith finally asked, her brow furrowed with concern. “I mean, are you still mad at him?”

“I was never really mad,” I said, shaking my head. “And why are we having this conversation again?”

“But did you guys have a fight recently or something?” Faith insisted.

“No. Come on guys. Mark? We never even argued. I mean, remember we called him smiley-faced boy in college? I don’t think he’s capable of being sad or angry, ever.” I laughed at the last bit, despite the weirdness of the conversation.

“But...have you talked to him recently? Like...early this year or something?” Meah asked.

This time, I felt a teeny, tiny stab of worry. “Well...” I said slowly, trying to recall the last time Mark said hi. “I saw him on my birthday, but I wasn’t able to talk to him for too long. But guys, I’ve been very busy with work and the wedding for the past few months.”

They exchanged looks again. Frustration bubbled up in me, as well as this urge to tear my hair out from all their cryptic looks. They were friends with Mark, too, so I understood the curiosity, but why the sudden interrogation?

“So...did he tell you...I mean, did you talk about...” Faith stammered, giving Meah a helpless look.

“Oh girls, will you cut it out? What is it? Is there something wrong with Mark?” For a moment, I wondered if he got into an accident and I didn’t know about it, but I waved it off. If that had happened, I was pretty sure I would have heard of it.

There was a moment of silence, which felt like it stretched on forever, until Meah finally blurted it out.

“Rain. Mark is single again.”

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