The Book Of Blonde Jokes

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Yes, a Christmas Blonde chapter. I was listening to Carolers so I decided to make this chapter. It will be the last one, til the next year(if the world doesn't end). So to my readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas/Hanukkah and a Happy New Year! :D

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Christmas Trees

Two blondes traveled hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag the Christmas tree back to the car. They had thought of every little detail planning this trip.

The two blondes were so determined to find the perfect Christmas tree. So determined, that they searched for hours slugging through knee-deep snow, blistering wind and weren’t even distracted!

Finally, five hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set, so one blonde turned to the other blonde and said, "I GIVE UP! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! There are hundreds of Christmas trees all around us. Let’s just cut one down whether it's decorated or not!!"

TVs For Christmas

A blonde hears her husband talking about a TV he wants for Christmas; so she goes to the nearest Best Buy. She walks into the store, flags down a worker, and asks if she could have the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the Best Buy and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different worker this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her, sympathy in her eyes, and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave."

Christmas Ice Fishing

A blonde decides she wants to go ice fishing, for Christmas. So she goes to the library and reads and researches ice fishing. Then she goes to the sporting goods store and buys everything she needs.So she finally thinks she is ready to get started, so she goes out to the ice and starts drilling a hole. Suddenly she hears a voice from up above.

It says: "There are no fish under the ice."

So she decides to go farther down on the ice. She starts drilling and she hears the voice again; "There are no fish under the ice"

So she packs up her things and moves down the ice again. She starts drilling and she hears the voice again. "There are no fish under the ice."

"Is that you Lord?" she stands, looks up, and says

"No" says the voice, "I'm the manager of the ice skating rink!"

Snow-Blondes

Q.Why does it take so long to make a Blonde snowman?

A.Because you have to hollow out the head.

Going Christmas Shopping

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall, while people were Christmas shopping?

The power went out for 5 hours leaving twelve blondes stranded on their way to the second floor, on the escalator.

Thank you so much! And Happy Holidays!! :D

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