Road To Nowhere [On Hold]

Road To Nowhere

The rain pattered on my window sill loudly, I looked up into the dark gray world, the trees looked sad, as the absorbed the rain within their leaves that fell on this damp November morning. I looked down in my lap the bottle of raspberry vodka smiled at me, I returned it's nice gesture by letting my lips graze the open bottle, I let the liquid fall down my tongue.

As it made it's way down my throat I savored the taste. Most people couldn't bear the taste of vodka, I could bear it, but the raspberry flavored was much better. As another rain drop sounded on my sill, I stopped looking into the almost empty bottle of liqueur, and rose form my bed.

My feet dragged along the carpet, my cat looked at me oddly before jumping from the window seat. Once he moved I took that same seat, looking into the dark gray clouds, the dark gray world.. It seemed to make me feel better. It might have just been due to the fact that I felt as the sky looked.

Washed out, faded away, as the clouds took over. The sun not out,  it too was hidden beneath the clouds, away from everyone's prying eyes.

It started to pour suddenly, the rain came down so fast. As a car drove through it I noticed them to be driving so slow, cautiously.. If only I would have remembered to do that. However even if I had drove slowly that fateful night, I'm sure life would have found another way to fuck me over..

The night I killed my boyfriend was a night I would never forget, no matter how many bottles of vodka I down.

"Oh come on Ty... pretty please?" My boyfriend Alexander smiled brightly wrapping his arms around my waist in a graceful manner. 

"Alex, It's not a good idea...besides I thought we were just going to stay home and watch movies.. eat junk food?" My words seemed to set him off as he walked away form me. 

"Tyyyy... You never want to do anything fun, come on beautiful let's compromise"

I huffed at his persistence.. he really wouldn't let this one go. We had already made plans to stay in, it was raining outside and the icy roads weren't safe to drive on. It was hard as much as I wanted to say no every time I looked at his face I just wanted to make him happy, the way he smiled at me suddenly..

He knew I was going to cave. He walked over to me once again. His lips made their way on my forehead as he got closer to me I could smell his cologne, one of my favorite smells. 

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. "Okay we can go party, but we leave early. okay?"

He kissed my lips before running out to my car. "I take that as a yes" I smiled to myself leaving my house as well. I slipped a note on the door for my mother when she got home.

Once we got to the party, music reached us loudly before we even stepped in the house. All our common friends from our high school would be here, mostly seniors that is. "Trystan, Alex!" My friends grinned at me as I made my way inside.

I was offered tons of alcohol, I declined all offers. At this point in time, I wasn't a drinker at all. Alex loved getting drunk, I was the opposite. They say opposites attract, and I smiled at the irony.

"Alex, you can barely walk" I stated harshly. I wasn't quite sure why I thought tonight would be different than any other night. "Just a little more Ty, lighten up" He snapped before walking away from me.

I had that strong feeling in the pit of my stomach, one you get in your gut when you know something bad will happen. I hated this feeling more than anything. I don't know how to describe it thoroughly but I will start by saying it feels like knot.