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Wanting Jocelyn

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Jocelyn POV

 

I don't even know what I feel, I'm confused and broken. My life has been a big lie and I don't know what to do to put myself back together. Thinking about my dad, I mean Theo, makes my blood boil. All this time I disappointed him and tried to make myself better and it would have never changed his opinion of me. I wasn't his daughter. It all makes sense. I would have never been good enough. Even knowing all of this, I have to speak to him, confront him. I won't let anything happen to him or the rest of my family. I love Marta and I will never take her father away from her. My mom too, I mean Missy, doesn't deserve losing her husband either. It's not like they could have helped it. I don't even know if they knew or not.

 

"Are you okay?" Lennox asks.

 

I shake my head. "No."

 

"What can I do?"

 

"Nothing." I reply honestly. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I feel cheated out of a loving family. I want to kill Chris Rhys myself. My emotions are making me go crazy. I'm depressed yet, I want revenge. I'm happy I found out the truth yet, I hate knowing what I missed out on. I feel like pulling my hair out. I'm in need of a straitjacket and a padded room.

 

"Let's talk about it." Lennox says.

 

"I don't know where to start. I'm all over the place and my thoughts keep switching from one thing to the next."

 

"Let's start with facts. Theo, Missy and Marta are not your true family."

 

"Marta will always be my sister. I know she had no idea. She would have told me." I state defensively.

 

"You're right. She didn't know." He agrees nodding his head.

 

"I don't want them hurt in any way. It's not their fault." I say quietly.

 

"Theo should have done more. He waited until he had to tell you the truth and he lied to me, he deserves to be punished."

 

"No, don't hurt him." I state firmly.

 

"Your real family is great. I'm good friends with your father." He says ignoring my statement.

 

"He's nice." I reply.

 

He chuckles. "He can be, but he can also be very mean. He'll kill Chris Rhys for this. If he chooses to fight Rhys, my pack and I will fight with him."

 

"I don't want to start a battle about this. What's done is done. Alpha Rhys may just give up his father. From what I've seen of their relationship, they're not close."

 

"You're very tenderhearted but Chris Rhys will die and so will Brett Rhys. This will start a fight no matter how you look at it. They will be held accountable for this and lose their lives. It's unforgivable."

 

"I understand that but I don't want anyone else hurt. It's not worth it and it won't change anything."

 

"Well, you can try telling your father that." He smirks.

 

"What are the rest of my family like?" I ask shifting on his lap.

 

"You now have an older half-brother and half-sister from Travis' first mate, she died giving birth to Rachael. About a year later, he met your mother and had you and then Jessica, who I believe just turned seventeen or is about to, then twin boys, Josh and Jason. Your sisters talk a lot and your brothers fight all the time. Your mother, Jenna, is very nice, but honestly, you're nothing like her. She is very loud and bubbly. You're a lot like your father in looks and personality."

 

"I had a grandpa, at least, I called him grandpa. I have his eyes, did they lie about that, too?"

 

"I don't know babe. You need to talk to them about that."

 

"I can't. I won't be able to lose that part of my past too. I idolized my grandpa, he was everything to me. I don't want to know." I start to cry again. If I'm not a Robinson and I'm not Miles Stanford's granddaughter, who am I really? I belong to a family I never met and I'm mated to an Alpha I barely know and struggle to understand.

 

"This is a lot for you. Why don't you rest?"

 

"I don't know if I should go see my real family." I blurt out.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I would have to leave them. I don't want to lose anyone else. I just lost a father, mother and a sister today. It's too soon." I explain sobbing into my hands.

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