Twilight News Report, Brought to you by TwilightChatrooms(:

Okay, guys! Here is a new thing I wanna check out. I really thought up some coolio ideas for Twilight News Stories so I thought I'd give it a go. Thanks to all my fans and anna_belle especially!! <3

Well, here it is!

Twilight News Report

Today, police officials had to break up a riot at Twilight Studios regarding the sparkling of Edward Cullen. These rabid Twilighters were furious that the film maker, as well as Stephanie Meyers, did not inform them that sparkling vamps were not real.

"I was broken when I heard that vampires don't exsist and don't sparkle," Bella Cullen said to reporters. "I even changed my name to Bella Cullen and moved to Washington thinking that maybe my Edward would come. And then this dumb Jacob lovers comes and says that vamps aren't real. I'm like what the fuck?!"

Three police officers died in the process of breaking up the riot. Police officers had to use metal steaks, garlic, crosses and prayers in order to subdue the crowd.

"They were dumb enough to believe they would die if they got close to this here garlic powder," Officer Henry Neel of the Forks, Washington police department laughed. "They actually think they're vamps!"

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Meanwhile, three girls were killed in a forrest in Colorado, eaten by wolves. Obviously the three girls were flirting with a wild pack of wolves and they ate them alive. Henry Argile witnessed this horrific crime.

"The girls saw the wolves and then they started saying that they were hot and such. I was confused at first, but when I saw that they had Twilight gear, I just laughed. When one of the girls called out Jacob, and then the pack attacked."

Judy Ross, a Twilight expert explains why teenagers are so obsessed with wild animals. "They are so obsessed with Jacob Black that they make it up in their minds that werewolves are real."

In Memory of Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley, and Angela Weber

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A/N: haha did u get where the names come from? No? Boo you!  

Okay okay, I admit, I had to look up the names, but they're Bellas friends from school who thought Edward was hot. And once again...yes Edward got burned because now they think Jake is hot. hahahahahaha im sooo funny! (cough) Anywayz, tell me if I should go on or not! 

I don't think the Twilighters would mind this one so much(: