Being in the 'hot list' every single day of your life is kind of fun, but it can get so stressful sometimes...

Well truth be told, it was only getting on my nerves after the accident, when I couldn't think straight.
My name is Abigail Spark and I'm 17 years old. I know, usually after those words comes the 'and a junior in high school', but I'm not technically in high school...
I've been tutored since I finished eighth grade. The time couldn't be better, no freshmen year for me!It was so BORING!! It was tough at first with all the mixed things I had to do, but I started using my time more wisely and catched up fairly quickly.
With work and school I didn't have a lot of time for friends, but I talked with them everyday. I didn't have many real friends, many hang-on's, like I called them, who tried to take advantage of me being in the 'hot list', but it isn't hard to get rid of them. My real BFF's were always Justin, Sharon, Riley, Alex, Gwen, and Mark.
The guys always stood up for me, were always there, even in the worst times. The accident that killed my parents were and will always be the worst times. I'm not sure I could have lived if I didn't have my friends with me.
Today, it's been a year since the accident that left me parentless, and I'm alone in my room in the dark. Its 8:13 in the morning, gotta wait 2 minutes until the actual time the plane crashed, 8:15 on a tuesday, June 29th 2009. I started the countdown, tears ready to spill...
At 8:15, I couldn't help it and started sobbing, holding on tight to the last picture I took of them the morning of this exact day last year.

"Mom, Dad?" I just had to call for them, it was like my heart was aching so hard for them, it was as if it would pump out of my chest. Have you ever felt like you couldn't stay alive one more minute because you felt so much pain and that caused your heart to squeeze really hard? Thats what I was feeling. "I miss you so much, I can't help but cry, think, and want you here... I feel alone at times, at night when we would be eating dinner all together talking about the day and work and how proud you guys were of me... I'm sorry if this past year I couldn't make you proud, I've stopped acting and singing almost completely and it has always been my dream to act-" I broke down in a stream of tears and sobs that wouldn't stop coming "an-and sing and all that other stuff that would get me noticed and become a celebrity just like I always wanted... This year was so wrong, so hard to live through, I barelly keep up with all the stuff around me, I feel like I can't continue without you guys, I am fighting for this by myself, and it's being too hard!" I cried non-stop, didn't even know for how long, didn't care at all about life. Unlce Sean didn't come up, niether did Aunt Trish, slutty Trish like I sometimez called her, just sometimes.

I heard a knock on my door, and slowly got up to see who it was. I quickly unlocked the door and opened it very slowly. I cringed when the light of the hall shined on my face, it was too bright. All the guys were there, Justin, Mark, Alex, Riley, Sharon, and Gwen. When they saw my face they looked down with sad smiles.
"Hey guys" I said slowly "nice to see you here" I tried to smile, but didn't accomplich that.
They walked into my room and looked around, it was all dark so I opened the curtains only to find more darkness. "What time is it?" I whispered, couldn't believe it was dark already, so I switched the lamp on.
"7:30 pm. You didn't even know it was dark outside, did you?" asked Mark. I just shook my head and we sat down on the couch and floor around the room.
"We're really sorry Abby...We're here for you..." that was Riley, she was a pretty blonde with a great sense of style, all my friends had that special touch. We all had a big group hug, and I started crying again.
"Sorry you guys, I don't know how the tears keep coming, there shouldn't be any left, I shouldn't have any liquids in me left..." I just hold on tight to my friends, they were there for me on the toughest moments always, like in the funeral or when I was told I'de live with my Uncle Sean at my house, the one my parents left for me.
"Abby, don't cry, your parents wouldn't want you like this." that was Sharon, my girl for all mischief, well the ones that were baised only on boys.
"You're right" sigh, I dried the tears and broke the hug. We just sat quietly for a minute. They kept looking at me, the window, the bed that was so wet with salt water from my eyes, and at me again.