26: Of Han Solo and Leia

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recap: April has Asperger's, which is a form of autism. Ryder has temperament issues. Ryder is tempted by the idea of getting money from streetfighting. April has just insulted Ryder's father. I'm bad at recapping, but I hope that this can induce some memories from the earlier chapters. :) 

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26: Of Han Solo and Leia

Mr. Black was readmitted to the hospital six days after Meanie April submerged. Mom said that this readmittance meant that Mr. Black was no longer part of the living world again in a short time. I didn't know which made me feel worse: the fact that the last correspondence between me and him ended in such a sour note, or the fact that Ryder would have to leave after his death.

Ryder hadn't talked much to me either. I asked Quentin about this, and after recounting every single details (including how many times Mr. Black blinked after I told him those Mean Words), Quentin surmised that it was perfectly in Ryder's right to be mad at me.

"You're just being a bitch back there," my brother had called me a lot of names, but never the B word. "But that's good, you know? I've been afraid that you'd be the type who'd, you know, be a doormat and let people step all over you. But then you actually have an inner bitch, and that's normal."

The consolation was designed to make me feel better, but it actually depressed me very much, to the point where I started to spam Ryder a lot of text messages that dwelled around being apologetic.

For some reason, 'I'm sorry' never really came out, though.

I'm just so stupid.

Typical text from Regretful!April towards Upset!Ryder:

'Did you know that the tv show 'Biggest Losers' have created more long-lasting relationships than 'The Bachelorette' and its female counterparts?'

Typical reply from Upset!Ryder towards Regretful!April:

'No.'

'I also read that the three things most difficult to say are 'Thank you', 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry''

'Ok. Have you eaten?'

'I have. I had macaroni and cheese today with extra cheese. What about you?'

'I haven't.'

Sometimes, it was far worse when someone wouldn't yell and got mad at you after you've done something wrong.

Because that would mean that he had given up.

And I never wanted him to give up on me.

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It was on the seventh day after the last time I saw Ryder when the bell rang. I hoped that I would see him by the door when I opened it, but that would resemble a scene right out from a typical Romantic Comedy . And my life, unfortunately, was not a romantic comedy.

Because instead of Ryder, it was actually his friend.

"Uhm," my mind went to a temporary state of frozen solid because I couldn't quite remember who he was. "The one from Linda's funeral."

"Do you seriously forget my name?" the blonde asked. "It's Alex."

"Hi, Alex. I'm sorry I have a bad memory."

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