Hopelessly Depressed and Devoted to You

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AN: IMPORTANT PLEASE READ. Okay so this story is going to switch between two points of view. I need to do this in order to get the story line across. I really hope you all enjoy this and take the time to read this. Okay on with the story.

 “You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”  -Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why.

Chapter 1; Victorias POV

My alarm goes, off waking me from my sleep. I grumble as I get out of bed and head towards the shower. I wish I could sleep forever; I hate waking up and fearing the day ahead of me. It takes so much effort to put on a fake smile and act like everything’s okay, despite the fact that people constantly make fun of me. 

I finish up in the shower as quickly as I can. Staying in the shower gives me way too much time to think, and I'm just not in the mood to think today. I can tell today is going to be one of my bad days. I have days where I'm actually pretty happy and things go my way, those are my good days. Then, I have days where things are just too hard for me to handle, those are my bad days. For the most part, I have a lot of good days, thanks to my two good friends, Ashley and Rachel. They're not exactly popular, but they're not losers like me. They stand up for me, since I'm afraid to stand up for myself. 

After putting my clothes on, I stand in front of my full length mirror. Man, I look like I put on a few pounds. My hair is so dull and brown, and I hate my dimples. I wish I could change everything about myself. As usual, I waste most of my time criticizing my faults. Note to self: stop criticizing yourself, you can't change yourself. 

Despite it being seventy degrees out, I grab my white jacket and throw it on. I grab my purse and check to make sure I have my iPhone and headphones. I then start walking down my stairs, making sure I'm as quiet as possible so I don't wake my mother or father. 

I shut and lock the door quietly behind me and then I start to run, hoping I catch the bus on time. I start to worry that I'm not going to make it, and if I miss the bus my parents will kill me, literally. I make it to the bus stop right as the bus pulls up. 

I push my hair out of the sweat that runs down my face. As I walk down the aisle on the bus, I put my head down, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone, and walk to my assigned seat in the middle of the bus. 

I wipe the sweat from my face and then put my headphones in. Hitting the random shuffle button on my phone, Teen Idol by Marina and the Diamonds come on. As the music plays, I start prepping myself for today. 'You can do this. I love you. You are pretty. Not everyone hates you. You are needed in this world. Smile.' I repeat this over and over in my head. It doesn't do much, but it makes me feel a little better. 

The bus stops at its last designated stop, and a group of boys come on the bus. There is one boy in particular who catches my eye. He sits down two seats in front of me next to the window. He has the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. They somewhat remind me of the lake that I use to go swimming in when I was younger. I couldn't hear what his friends were saying, but it must be funny because he is laughing. To an ordinary eye, his smile would be considered bright and beautiful. Don't get me wrong, his smile is beautiful, but there's something missing. There's a certain kind of sadness to it, but it’s a beautiful kind of sad. 

His friends stop talking for a bit, and he looks out the window, letting the smile drop off his face. Everything about him screams beautiful, to me. I don’t realize the bus has come to a stop until he stands up. I quickly take my headphones out and put my phone on silent. By the time I get off the bus, the boy is already gone. 

Sighing to myself, I put my head down and head towards my locker. Everyone keeps pushing me, and I swear it is on purpose, because they do it every day. Right before I reach my locker, Ashley and Rachel stop me. 

"How about we go to the bathroom", Rachel says while grabbing my arm and turning me around.

"I have to go to my locker first,” I try pushing around her, but Ashley rests her hand on my arm.

"No, honey, you don’t." They're trying to hide something from me. 

I turn around like I was going to walk towards the bathroom, and once Rachel lets go of my arm, I quickly turn around and plow through them. I look at my locker and my heart sinks. I wish I would have gone to the bathroom with them. Someone had taken black spray paint and painted the words 'ugly', 'freak', and 'loser' onto my locker. 

Making sure I keep my face blank, I open my locker.  I was met by a bunch of rats who hurried to jump out of my locker. I squeal and jump away. I hate rats, and that’s when I realize everyone is laughing at me. Trying my hardest to hold back my tears, I close my locker and start walking towards the bathroom. I keep my head down the whole way there, but I couldn't help but notice the beautiful boy from my bus standing in the corner. The thing that really surprises me is that he wasn't laughing like the rest of his friends; actually, he was watching me with a knowing look in his eyes. I shake my head; I'm probably just imagining things. 

Reaching the bathroom, I go into the back stall and lock myself in there. That’s when the tears start to flow; I can’t hold them back anymore. I hear someone come into the bathroom and my heart drops. It is probably the popular girls coming to torment me some more. Two sets of feet stop outside the stall I have locked myself in. There is a knock on the door, and a familiar voice follows it.

"Victoria, honey, open up." I realize the voice belongs to Ashley. That means the other set of feet is Rachel’s. I wipe the tears from my face and open the door. The moment I do, I regret it. The look of pity on their faces makes everything worse. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, of course!" I say, making sure to put a lot of enthusiasm in my voice and a big smile on my face. They don’t look really convinced, so I add "I'm so use to everyone’s stupid little jokes; they don't even bother me now." This seems to convince them that I’m okay.

"Well alright, let’s get to class then!" Rachel grabs my arm and practically pulls me out of the bathroom. Sadly, my first class I don’t have with Rachel or Ashley. We say our goodbyes as I turn into my math class. I sit down in my seat and within seconds someone is shooting spitballs at me. 'You can do this. I love you. You are pretty. Not everyone hates you. You are needed in this world. Smile.' Today is going to be a long day.

AN; Okay I know this was really short and boring but its just the beginning. Things will pick up soon I promise. Have a wonderful day everyone, hugs and kisses!

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