*Damien’s POV*
Though in all fairness, I had no way of knowing, I felt seeking out Kyle’s mom had been a good thing. Of course, with my life, I could be completely wrong-which is why I was going to get Kyle to catch me up on family background before suggested a single word.
Could he go live with her? Where’d she even live? And would he even want to? She seemed nice enough, but how would I know. She could have bullshit me for her own purposes and I didn’t want to take the chance. So, for the second night in a row I was venturing uninvited to Kyle’s house.
And, for the second night in a row, the carries of voices travelled across the alwn, stopping me short. The outside light was on this time, making me clearly able to see Kyle and Karen standing there, Kyle’s arms awkwardly cradled holding…
A baby. My throat tightened.
So what... The baby wasn’t Kyle’s responsibility, it was Karens fault…I wince. Okay, thinking like that was cruel. A baby wasn’t anyone’s ‘fault’ and I know Kyle had played a roll, it was just… I bite down on my tongue. I couldn’t admit it to myself that it was partially his responsibility…
Because then I’d have to admitt what would be best. And that didn’t include me.
I look at them more closely. The baby was what, three months? I didn’t know much about babies, but from how he was holding it, it was obvious it couldn’t even support its neck yet. I swallow. Kyle was smiling a rare smile, looking down into his daughters face. I felt sick.
You always think you’re the perfect match for everyone. I can give Kyle what you can’t.
Karen’s voice echo’s in my mind. But what about Rose.. If I just gave up I’d be betraying her to, so-
Why was I making excuses…?
My shoulders literally slumped, and I watched as Karen took the baby girl back from her daddy, silently wallowing in the fact that it was better that way. They looked like a family, me and Kyle looked like the most unlikely couple the world had ever seen.
And that little girl…
So what? Break up with Kyle? Crush him? Walk away? I didn’t want to. Anything else though… felt terribly selfish. My heart stuttered in my chest. If it was anyone else… I’d… do what was best for me. But this was Kyle and I….
I loved him.
So I had to admitt I wasn’t best for him. I’d hang on until the last second, enjoy every moment I had with him. Then, when him and Karen got married I’d back off. I’d let him live a proper happy life, accepted by his dad, loved by his child, depended on by his wife.
Longed after by me.
****************
“This is by far the strangest thing I’ve ever done” my heart wasn’t really into semi-amusing observation. A week since my revolution to live by what’s best for him has past, and for ecery moment of the seven days my heart hasn’t been into anything at all.
“Consider it acting. I have to convince my father that I’m really going through with this, so picking out a tux is important. What do you think?” I thought that it looked nice on him. Kyle had perfect posture and a serious face, so well groomed I was left wondering how much effort he put into appearance. Guys like that looked naturally good in suits…
But I had to play my part-act like I hadn’t given up “I think we could be doing more imprtaint things then shopping for your ‘not going to happen wedding’ unless you’ve changed you mind and decided it is going to happen, that is”
“Relax” he started taking the overshirt of the suit off, reloosening the tie he’d just tightened, ready to move on to the next one due to my distinct disapproval. He seemed to think because I was gay I knew a thing about clothes. Stereotyping moron… “I have a plan”
Don’t you always… “And what’s that?” the scepticism shows, eyebrows reaching hairline.
“Why so doubtful? They always work?” he throws his tie at me.
“Define always” I mutter under my breath.
Deciding to just give up and ignore me, he pushes through, telling me the plot I wasn’t all that interested in. I just kind of wanted to kiss him, again and again, until both our lips were so sore he wouldn’t bother talking about useless bullshit ever again. And maybe push him down and do stuff that was really better suited in a romantic setting and with appropeiate reason…
I’m so busy watching his lips, I forget his words. It’s only moments after he’s finished that my sad goffy little midn processes his words, the meaning clicking into place. If I’d been drinking, I;’d have done a spit take. “Wait, what did you just say?!”
“I said, I’m going to pay her to back out of the marriage” he comes over, sitting down next to me, the fancy wear off now, just wearing his boxers and undershirt. “It’s a simple solution and I know she’ll do it for the money” he ruffles my hair “You have the attention span of a goldfish, don’t you?”
There’s a lump in my throat. My heart seems to solify, each beat against my chest like a punch from within. Rose. Was history…repeating itself? I couldn’t let him just pay Karen off and not get to raise that baby girl.. Not just for someone as meaningless as me…
“Kyle, you can’t just…” my lips go dry, the words hard to find “It isn’t fair to anyone, you especially if you’re not involved. Don’t you think it’ll hurt, not getting to be part of that little girls life? I…” Tears well up, pissing me off. That last thing he needed right now was for me to cry….
“You what?” his face is suddenly very close to mind “Think I should marry her?”
“No.. I don’t know..” I bite my tongue, refusing to let a single tear go.
He searches me eyes and softens a little “No. I’m tired of this. Letting my dad decide for me. Letting everyone else decide for me” his words tighten, and all I can think is-is not telling him deciding for him? “I’m going to decide for myself for now on and….”
Our eyes meet, and it’s like a spark jump betweens us. He looks so… serious. I’ve never seen a look so utterly set in stone, so determined. His voice starts again. Confident. Arrogant, but with cause. “And I don’t want to marry Karen. I don’t have a ring, or even a stable future at the moment, but when I get married Damien” his ahnd slips into mine “I want to marry you”
No you don’t
.
But when the kiss is planted, it’s welcomed.
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ZzzzzZZzzzzZZzz *Drool* To tired to tell if this is good or not. Getting the distinct feeling that when I wake up I'mma read this and be disapointed by my disability...
So tired.... .must demand comments from readers.....*Drool*
Comment.....for those of you who like to keep tabs, 4 parts of part two left, then onto part three which'll be about eleven parts I think...then its over ZzzzzZzzzZzzzz
*Dreams of gay boys and lengthy informative comments*
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Breaking Them Up (BoyxBoy) (On Hold Forever)
Teen Fiction“I love you” the words that tore from his mouth straight to my heart were spoken softly. So softly, I could barely hear them, as he began to move forward. It made my heart squeeze in my chest, watching his lips get closer and closer, leaning in and...
