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101 ways to get kicked out of Walmart =)

Dedicated to
WeAteYourGrandma
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1. Get a ball and run around the store playing soccer.

2. You need 5 people for this- Dress one person up as pacman and the other 4 up as ghosts and run up and down the aisles making pacman noises.

3. Get a blanket, tie it around your neck and run around the store like your flying and say "I am Super Man/Woman"

4. Have cart races.

5. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

6. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

7. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

10. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

11. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

13. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

14. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

15. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

16. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

17. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 

18. Take bets on the battle described above.

19. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

20. Two words: "Marco Polo."

21. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

22. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

23. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it

24. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.

25. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

26. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

27. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

28. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

29. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

30. Grab a handful of candoms and sex toys and place them randomly in young couples carts when they arn't looking and then watch how they react when they find them.

31. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.

32. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

33. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

34. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.

35. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)

36. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.

37. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.

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