Porcelain (On Hold)

Porcelain: Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, so I lied to myself :P  Chapter One came much sooner! Here you are!!

     Georgia kept her arms tightly around me as we laid on my bed.  All I could do was look at the ceiling, not wanting to see her pity, her anger towards me.

     After I told her the news she came straight over to my house.  All she has done so far is hug me.  But I knew what was coming.

     “Annika... how?”  she asked as gently as she could.  I shut my eyes tight, but when I did I just saw the same thing I have been seeing all afternoon.

     It was so clear yet so blurry.  His face was all I saw, his hands all that I felt.  The way his eyes traveled over me in satisfaction and the way he smiled when I whispered his name.  But of all, I remember my stomach plummeting as I watched him walk away after he was finished with me.

     I sucked in a hard breath as I opened my eyes again, finally turning toward her.  Her blue eyes looked at me with disbelief.  I also saw the disappointment that I dreaded having to receive.  With that look I felt disgusted with myself all over again.  I shed a few more tears, the cold water making its way to my ears.

     “I wish I knew,” I whispered out.

     Georgia’s face softened as she rubbed the tears away with her thumb.  I sighed and sat up, breaking away from her hold on me.

     “One time, just one time with a guy I thought I knew.  And this happens.  Why is the price so steep for one mistake?  One sin?  Georgia I have been asking myself ‘how’ all day and... I just don’t know!”  

     I bent over, elbows on my knees and face in hands.  I just can’t process it...  I’m pregnant.  I’m pregnant.  Pregnant?  How!

     I heard Georgia move to sit beside me, not saying a word.  I have been in such destruction today I don’t know if I could take her yelling at me.  And I still have my parents to worry about... and him.

     “Oh god, Georgia what am I going to tell him?  Should I even tell him at all?  Will it make a difference if I do?”

     Georgia started to shake her head before I even finished my question.

     “I really don’t know what to do Ann.  But you need to tell your parents ASAP,” she said, giving me a hard look.  I had no choice in the matter, if I didn’t she would.  I groaned and started to pace my room thinking of how to tell them.  

     My room is fairly big.  Our house is a two story and I basically have the whole level to myself since my parent’s room is on the first floor.  My walls are a soft shade of yellow and the carpet is dark brown.  My furniture is all white: the desk, the bed frame, the dresser and bedside table.  It was usually very clean since I do not spend much time in here.  I always feel like I will suffocate and need fresh air because the house is always empty.

     I still haven’t come up with anything ten minutes later.  I stop pacing and sit back down next to Georgia, who was watching me the whole time.  I just shook my head at her and resumed my initial pose, rubbing my temples raw.  I can’t possibly tell my mom that I’m.... and at eighteen!

     “Georgia, I’ve already disappointed you.  How could I possibly disappoint my mom too?  I just can’t take it.  I can’t live with the fact that I’ve let her let me down so low,” I said.

     And I knew for a fact that she will feel that way.  My mom had me at a young age too, but by young I mean almost finished with college.  I’m not even finished with high school and that alone would make her blame herself.