Falling Slowly

Prologue

The sun disappeared under the heavy, dark gray clouds - a sign that a storm was approaching on the vast horizon. It would hit Fairhope in an hour tops judging by how angry the sky looked. The wind howled in mourning, like a widow at the bedside of her husband in passing. I listened to the sounds around me- the swings moved back and forth in a screech by their own accord. The trees rustled in the wind, while a few cars passed by with a honk or two. It was desolate, standing here in the vacant park; the sudden chill in the air bit at my skin. My breath fogged up in the air as I breathed out in slow steady breaths. Shivers ran down my spine as the temperature began to drop in an alarming rate.

I should be home under the warmth of my covers, curled up in bed reading a book as I got lost in the pages written in black and white. Or maybe I would be practicing the piano as mom always instructed me to do so. Even if she didn’t I would still play on my own will. I loved the piano just as much as it was necessary to breath. It was a part of me, a part that had grown since I was seven.

But today had been different.

Today hadn’t been an ordinary day filled with dungeons and dragons or damsels in distressed being rescued by the love of their lives. No, today was the day I had gone to the doctors, while mom and dad told me what they had been hiding from me since I was born. Today everything changed as the knowledge I’d gained swept into the very core of my existence, settling there like a turtle and its shell; it was part of me – it always had been.

I shook my head, trying to forget about today and just focused on waiting here in eye of the storm. There weren’t many people I would do this for, especially when a storm was brewing, threatening to hit my home any minute. But I was waiting because I had promised and I seldom broke a promise.

I was waiting for my best friend.

He was supposed to be here at three o'clock sharp. Looking down at my wrist watch I read that that had been twenty-three minutes ago. I don't know what I was still doing here in light of the storm. Maybe, it was the fact that he needed me right now. His mom had just passed away after years of fighting cancer. We all knew her time was coming as she began to go to the hospital more often than usual. It was hard as Mrs. Rowely had been like my second mother. She was kind and nurturing to all the kids in the neighborhood as she knew most of us from her daycare center. Many of her kids from the past and present showed up the day of her funeral with tear streaked faces and red roses to be set on her coffin as we all took turn to say goodbye.

Tomorrow would mark the third week since her death – twenty one days to the letter. Thinking of Mrs. Rowely sent a pang through my chest and my eyes to water at her memory. No one deserved to die from a terrible illness like cancer. Why did some people have the privilege to live life without any harm, while others died unexpectedly from sickness?

It wasn’t fair.

Life isn’t fair, Anya.

I gulped back my father’s words. He was right and I knew that life wasn’t fair, but sometimes I wished there was a reason for why things happened. Why this was happening to me or why it was going to happen.

It was inevitable.

I looked down at my wrist watch again as I read 3: 47. He was almost an hour late. I wondered what was keeping him so long. Part of me wondered where he was, while the other part began to form the words I would say to him when he arrived. He would hate me – of that I was sure of. He would never talk to me ever again.

But isn’t that what you want?

Yes, but it’s complicated. I sighed,replying back to my conscious.

Life is complicated.

I sighed as the internal battle raged on inside of me with no sign of levying any time soon. There were just so many different ways that my news would affect him. He could choose to stay by my side with the new development or he could choose to leave. Part of me wanted the latter because I didn’t want him to go through any sort of pain again, not after what he just went through with his mother. The other part – the stronger and righteous part wanted him to stay because I knew that he would never leave me no matter what. Through thick and thin we would be friends forever. It was a promise we had made each other back in second grade.

I began to walk towards the playground, my feet dragging on the grass. I felt the coldness of the ground as the grass poked my sandal covered feet, sending a slight prickle up my leg. I took every step warily, counting how many paces it took from my spot to the swings.

Fifteen…seventeen…twenty-one…

Nothing else existed beside the steps in front of me as I made my way towards the playground. It was as if time froze, and took all my thoughts away with the wind as they flowed freely in the sky. It was exactly forty-three steps when I got to the swings as I took my seat, and pushed myself off the ground. The air around me burned my skin, gnawing at it like fire ants – leaving a trace of their brutality behind. I didn’t care, though. I felt numb. The fear of a cold didn’t scare me as it used to. Everything was different now and I felt fearless because nothing could hurt me; nothing but this one thing.

I heard footsteps as my heart thudded in my chest only to fall as I saw that it was only an officer. Disappointment sank into my stomach and I realized how much I wanted to see him – how much this meeting meant to me. He had always been my rock when the waves came crashing on the shore. He never let me wash away, holding me intact when life got rough. Even when his mother was dying he had been strong, holding down the fort while everyone around him sank deep down into their grief.

There was only once when I saw him breakdown, and I held him as his tears soaked my shirt through, and heart wrenching spasms racked his body.

“You need to get on home, kid. The storm will hit any second and you don’t want to be caught in it.”

I looked up, the voice cutting through my thoughts as the memories slowly faded. I saw clear blue eyes looking at me with concern as I recognized who he was.

“Anya, did you hear me?”

“Yes. Sorry, Mr. Weatherly! I’ll go home right now.”  I said, hopping off the swing.

“Good,” he said, giving me a knowing sly smile. “Tell your folks I said hi. Get home safe, kid.”

I turned back and yelled, “Will do!” and began to run as the wind became fiercer, making it hard to run or even walk for that matter.

As I made my way home I didn’t see him and the disappointment was too hard to ignore as it made my heart sink. I had needed him today more than ever and he hadn’t been there. Maybe, he didn’t want to be friends anymore. Summer was almost ending and that meant starting high school in just a few weeks. He probably had found new friends to hang out with – cooler people than me. He probably had better things to do now.

The boy I knew as my best friend would never leave me waiting for an hour for him to show up. No. Things were changing – he was changing. In the midst of all that had happened today I had hoped that he would be the only thing in my life that would remain the same. I now saw that it couldn’t be, as much as I didn’t want to admit it. Everything was changing from this day forward.

Nothing would ever be the same way again.

♥

--Author's Note--

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