Trust Me (A Jacob/Edward friendship story)

Chapter 9- Guilt

Author’s note: Firstly, I just have to say that within one hour posting this, I will be sitting in Gold Class about to watch Breaking Dawn, Part 1! I can’t wait! I know heaps of you have probably already seen it, but please (if you were tempted), do not writing anything about the movie in comments or on my profile (just incase someone accidentally sees it and hasn’t seen the movie yet). Feel free to PM me though! I would love to know what fellow readers think of it!

Anyway, thank you to everyone who commented and voted on the previous chapter! As always, it means a lot to me to hear how many of you love what I am doing with Edward, Jacob and the Twilight Saga in general. It’s wonderful to get such positive feedback!

So here is chapter 9- I will preface this by saying that the primary players in this chapter are Jake, Carlisle and Jasper, I hope you can forgive me for making Edward absent in this one (but the poor guy needs a break)! I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! : )

Trust me

Chapter 9- Guilt

Jacob’s POV

Dr Cullen was talking to me about blood tests, but I wasn’t really listening. He was saying something about wanting to wait until Jasper returned before attempting to take my blood so he could keep me calm should something happen. But all I could do was stare at the door. I could hear people talking outside and knew that Jasper and Edward were talking in hurried voices- the type I couldn’t understand which was just typical.

As I was trying to eavesdrop, I was interrupted by flashes of Edward’s face popping into my mind, the way his expression darkened when he shouted at me, his white teeth glinting dangerously through his lips as he shook me. I touched my shoulder absent-mindedly, my muscles aching from where he grabbed me. I never realised until that moment how much he was sacrificing to be with me through all of this, and how do I repay him? By bringing up what he did to Bella. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate him for what he did to the girl I love, but I didn’t want him to leave- I was just sick and tired of needing him all the time! I was angry- angry at my situation- angry at me for getting me into this situation to begin with.

I’m sorry, Edward, I said to Edward again in the hope he would acknowledge me.

Carlisle’s gentle voice was still in my ear, but I couldn’t pay attention to him as I watched hopefully when Jasper and Alice entered the room, Esme bringing up the rear. I hardly looked at them, my eyes glued to the opened door, waiting for Edward to follow in after them.

He never came.

I felt a sense of loss- emptiness, as my stomach sank. It was such a stupid feeling, but it felt weird being here without him. I wasn’t afraid of Carlisle or Esme, or any of the others, but I still wasn’t used to their scent- it always reminded me that I was in enemy territory. But Edward smelt almost normal to me- I hated that he was no longer around.

Jasper placed his hand on my back and suddenly I felt a calmness come over me which allowed me to focus on what I had done- why Edward left to begin with. I searched the faces of the vampires who surrounded me, trying to find an accusatory glare or a hint of resentment in their golden eyes. But I found the opposite: concern, for me and for Edward. In the silence I felt my stomach churn and immediately grabbed it in agony.

“Carlisle,” I groaned, to almost immediately see the blue bucket under me. My stomach felt like it lurched up into my throat. God this was the worst feeling in the world: I would prefer to phase for the first time one hundred times than face this again. When I finished hurling my guts out, I gripped the side of the bed, my muscles tensed. Jasper’s effect was wearing off, my nose was burning, and although Alice had thankfully removed the disgusting vomit from below me, no one had said anything- not even Carlisle. At first I thought it was because they were waiting for me to ask the question: ‘Where is Edward’, but then all I could think about was how much their silence upset me- there was no comfort here, and why should I expect any after what I did to Edward?