YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE . . . AND YOU LOST IT

CHAPTER 1:

LILLIAN'S POV:

I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my whole life. Walking to Micah's house, I think over what I'm going to say to him. I don't have long to think, his house is right around the block from mine. He's my best friend, but I want him to be more.

He always has a girlfriend, but he called me the other night to tell me that he broke up with Nicole. I feel as though fate put this particular set of circumstances together. I just got offered the chance to be a foreign exchange student in Italy next year, my sophomore year of high school. I have until tomorrow to decide whether or not to accept it, but then I get the call from Micah, telling me that he is finally single. It's like fate is telling me that before I do anything rash, I need to tell Micah how I feel. If he feels the same way, no way am I leaving him.

I get more excited as I near his house. When I ring the doorbell, his sister Isabel answers.

"Hi Lily! Micah's upstairs," Isabel says.

"Thanks Isabel," I tell her before heading upstairs.

When I enter Micah's room, he is on his laptop downloading music. He looks up at me, smiles and says, "Hey Lily, what's up?" then he goes back to looking at the screen.

"Um, I just wanted to come over and say that I'm sorry about you and Nicole," I tell him.

"Huh? Oh, don't worry about it. I'm over her," he tells me.

I'm glad to hear this. Obviously he didn't have very strong of feelings for her, maybe because he really has feelings for me. I know he usually dates the hot chicks in our grade, but when it's true love, it doesn't matter what you look like. My mother always tells me I'm a late bloomer like she was. I'm short compared to some of the other girls in my grade and my brother who's a year younger than me likes to tease me and call me the 6th grader, even though I'm fifteen.

I stare at Micah. He is so handsome. I wouldn't care what he looked like, I love him. Of course, the fact that he's the hottest guy I know doesn't hurt. He's only fifteen, but he is already over six feet tall and muscular.

Micah catches me staring at him, gives me a funny look, and says, "Why are you looking at me like that Lily?"

I can't contain myself anymore, I blurt out, "I love you!"

Micah looks confused and says, "what?"

Everything I want to say comes out in a rush, "I said I love you. I've wanted to tell you for so long. I need to know that you feel the same way."

He has a shocked look on his face. He puts his face in his hands and says nothing. "Micah! Say something!" I tell him.

"I have a girlfriend," he mumbles with his face still in his hands.

"What do you mean, you have a girlfriend? I thought you and Nicole broke up," I say, stunned.

"We did break up. I broke up with her because I wanted to be with Sabrina. I've liked her for a long time. I found out that she likes me too, and now we're together." He tells me.

"But, what about us? How do you feel about me?" I ask him, dreading his answer.

He finally looks up at me with pity in his eyes. "Lily, you're my best friend, of course I love you, just not in the way you want. I'm sorry."

Tears start to blur my vision. I stumble backwards out of his bedroom and run down the stairs, out the front door. I can hear him calling out my name behind me, but I keep going. When I reach the end of the block, I still keep walking. I don't want to see anyone right now. It feels as though someone took a sledgehammer to my heart. I finally stop walking when I reach a park. I sit down, lean against a tree and let the tears take over.

I'm so stupid. Why would Micah want to be with a girl like me, when he can date girls like Nicole and Sabrina? I guess I just convinced myself that I had a chance with him. He's nicer to me than any other guy, but now I know that's just because he loves me as a friend.

I manage to avoid Micah the rest of the summer and when it's time to go to Italy, I leave without saying goodbye.