Counting

How many days will it be,
Before I loose my grip on reality,
Before he looses grip of anger,
Before Love turns into pain,
Mental,
Physical?

How many days will it be
Before a single hit of anger
that was an accident
Becomes so much more

How many days will it be
Before that hit becomes
Something I fear
Something I loathe
Before it is something
I run away from

~~~

How many days has it been
Since I got away
Since he let me go
Since the bruises formed
Painful
Sore

How many days has it been
Since my fear became rational
And he became irrational
And I was freed from the fire

How many days has it been
Since the hurt of loosing
The one thing I never expected
To hurt me
To harm me at all
The hurt formed

Counting the days tells me
That I am that much farther
From the battleground
And that much closer to shelter
Protection
Freedom

Counting the days lets me
Have more and more
Peace of mind
Piece of me I'm aloud
To leave behind

So I'm counting the days
One by one
Since he first strike
Like lightening
So powerful on the heart
So powerful on the body
And so scaring

I'm surprised to still be alive from
The powerful blow
The first
The second
The third

So I'm counting
The days since the first day
That changed everything

And I will count on
The day I am away
And safe
The day my walls are rebuilt
And I can love again
Trust again

I' m counting...