It's a world of pain and a moment of surrender
My mind is running wild, my body loses control
The pain is gone and I'm smiling at the feeling
I'm in control and the moment is all right
But now there is another pain and fear
My body is losing control again
I don't know what to do, who to tell
I don't even know if I want them to know
I can't do this all on my own
He's gone and it's just me right here
My mom is crying on the kitchen stool
Dad went for a drive to the store
And soon I'm driving away from home too
The building with the cross and the glass doors
They beckon me inside and I go slow
I'm afraid of what will happen today
Everyone around me is crying or coughing
I'm just shaking like a terrified puppy
My life is about to change forever and I'm not ready
But either way it's all I can do now
Everything is white except for her coat
The faded blue makes me think of stormy skies
And it's pain again and I can't stop it now
I'm losing control all over again
My life seems to be many moments of no control
Where I can't do anything but surrender
Everyone is talking at once, all three of them
And then just like that it suddenly goes quiet
No one is telling me what's going on
I don't know what's happening to me
There is no noise in the room, just looking
And I can't help but think something is wrong
Worried expressions with wordless lips, they stare
I'm shaking and I just want to cry right now
The pain is everywhere and I can't control it
Being here is going to make me mad
I'm losing control, I'm losing my mind
I have to get away from their stares
I just have to get out of here right now
I can't stay here another minute longer
The silence is killing me and driving me mad
Why won't they talk or let me go home
Is something wrong with me
It's too quiet in here and I want some noise
But no one says anything as they turn away
And I lie there still waiting for some answers
A quiet voice whispers "you can go now"
And I burst out crying as I leave the room
I make the phone call to be picked up
Everything hurts and I hate this place
I just want to go home and sleep
This silence is killing me
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(This is a cryptic poem. Who can guess what it's about?) dedication for the one who gets it right! :)
xo dawnsblush
