Inside Out

"You triflin' ass bitch! I should choke the shit outta you! Why in the fuck are you just now tellin me this shit!" said Darnell as he chased me around my livin room. Veins popped out of his strong neck, making his tattoos look 3D and his bright green eyes were now a murky emerald color. He was beyond mad. He was way past pissed. He was downright outraged.

"Baby, I-"

"Bitch, don't call me baby! I ain't yo muthafuckin baby! " he cut me off. He ran towards me and I jumped over the couch and landed on the other side, quickly getting to my feet just in case he decided to jump over as well. In all the 6 months we had been together, I had never seen him this angry. As a matter of fact, I had never seen him angry at all. Darnell is the sweetest man on the face of this earth. He's never raised his voice at me, argued with me or even been anything less than a complete gentleman every time we were together. He was dynamite in the bedroom and better than Emeril Lagasse in the kitchen. He was smart, as he only could be after graduating from an Ivy League school, and possibly the sexiest man on this side of the planet. He had a warm heart and was passionate about everything, including loving me. But now it seems.... the only thing he's passionate about is ending my life.

"Darnell! Baby, please hear me out!" I pleaded, "I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you! I wanna spend the rest of my life with you! That's why I even brought it up!" He swung his fist at me and I ducked out of the way just in time.

"Shut the fuck up wit that shit, Angel! Is that even yo fuckin name?!" he yelled. Tears streamed from my eyes and I could feel my heart being stomped on by his words. Not five minutes ago he was telling me how much he loved me and how he would never hurt me or disrespect me. He promised to love everything about me, flaws and all, but as soon as I mention just one of them, he turns into a completely different person. A mean, hateful person with no heart or any love for me in his heart. It was like he had done a 180 turn around. And it hurt like hell.

"Tell me one thing, Angel, if that's even yo fuckin name! Tell me why you waited SIX MUTHAFUCKIN MONTHS to tell me this shit!" he said as he ran behind the couch and I ran in front of it, keeping the distance between us.

"I don't know! I was scared! I just wanted you to love me for me! For what's on the inside! Not for what was mistakenly created on the outside!" I said. He shook his head and laughed mirthlessly.

"Love you for you?...... How the fuck was I supposed to love you for you when I didn't even know who you are?! Or should I say WHAT?!" he screamed, causing me to flinch and begin to wail.

"But baby, I love you!" I yelled in between hiccups of my loud bawling. My thick mascara ran down my face like black waterfalls and seeped into my white Gucci mini dress. I had paid over $500 for this dress but at the moment, I couldn't care less about damaging it. I was about to lose the best man to ever walk into my life.

"Don't you love me? Please, babe, tell me you love me!" I pleaded. I couldn't let him go and I refused to. We could work past this, go to therapy if we had to, but just as long as he agreed to stay with me.

"I loved who I thought you were, Angel..... I loved the girl who you portrayed yourself as..... Not this...this freak that I'm lookin at right now!" he said with the most disgusted look I had ever seen in my life. I felt a huge pang in my heart at it and my tears fell more rapidly as my lips trembled from my deep pain. My soul was hurt.

"But I love you..." I whispered. I began to wail again and he shook his head at me.

"And to think..... I was gonna ask you to marry me....." he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black box. My eyes widened and I stared at the box in shock. He opened it and revealed the most beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen. It was not too big and not too small. Perfect. I reached my hand out for it but he closed the box back and threw it across the room with all his might. It hit the wall with a loud thud and disappeared behind the other couch.

"You can forget it now." he said before he picked up his leather coat off of the end of the couch and briskly made his way to my front door. I ran after him, determined to make him stay and love me.

"No, no, no, no! Darnell, please! Baby, please! I'm sorry!" I said as I grabbed his arm. He spun around and gritted his teeth at me in anger.

"Take yo fuckin hands off me!" he said before he snatched away from my grip. He made his way to the door again and I clung to his shoulder. Without warning, he spun around and slapped me across the face with enough power to knock an elephant unconscious. I fell to the floor, completely dumbfounded. I sat there for a minute, blank-minded and trying to catch my breath. He had literally knocked the wind right out of me. My face burned like I had slept on a pillow made of fire and I could feel some loose teeth in my mouth. He had hit me so hard that the inside of my mouth bled because of the force of my cheek, slamming against my teeth, causing my teeth to dig into the flesh inside if my mouth. I sat on the floor dizzy and slightly incoherent.