Blazing Anger (A Poem)

Blazing Anger

I don’t know what to say or do.

I am hooked up,

With emotions,

driving me insane.

I know, nobody would believe me if I said I need you.

Not in way they thinking, but in the way I see it.

For so long, my heart lived here limped, lifelessly,

Then you came, savoring me, holding me tightly.

It is mean of me, I know, for I can never return it.

Numerous times, I had repeat to you, to me,  

“I haven’t bound you, you are free to go.”

But it feels like weighted to tons on my heart,

To say that much,

To see you with someone else.

I want you to be happy,

But I don’t feel happy when

I see you with her, in particular.

The hatred engulfs my mind, blocking other things.

My heart constricts, churning inside my small figure,

She makes you happy,

I should be happy.

But I am not.

I tried to let you loose, but it was too much to take,

That silence, blinded me, I reached up for you again.

Now again, I saw you with her,

Pulling me in dark stormy weather.

Your anger blazed at me, for being ignorant,

But it was me, saving my mind from things.

For the first time, I felt scared of you,

Those eyes widened of yours.

I think, I saw something like fire,

I am afraid that it would burn me alive.

I still need you, but don’t know how to reach for you…

Khwaish

6/11/11