Captivate (Manipulate, Book 2)

Chapter 31

During the slow afternoon, Claire and several of the others sat around at the bar, sipping cola and chatting. Francois's latest shipment included a huge case of off-brand soda and he’d given them each a soda to enjoy this afternoon. He was thrilled with their success, and his success, and enjoyed treating them.

Sage was idly spinning the electronic token in his hand again, while Diva fiddled with a set of chess pieces that had arrived in the last shipment.

Claire leaned back in the chair, and took a sip of warm soda. “The British drank warm soda, I’ve heard,” she said. “I usually drank it with ice.”

She felt tired and relaxed. Perhaps not as relaxed as she had before the 'false alarm' (as they tactfully referred to that bad afternoon), but still pretty good. If this place had been on Earth, the late afternoon sun would have been shining through the windows, lighting up motes of dust in a slow, golden display. As she was actually on Selta and not Earth, there was no sun, but that was how she felt.

Sage was next to her, and he took a sip and sighed. “I think this body used to like this.”

Claire stiffened slightly. She didn’t want to think about how his body used to be some other person's. Only this morning she’d come across Juliet weeping in the corner of their bedroom.

“What’s the matter?” Care had asked, crouching down to touch her shoulder.

Juliet met her eyes and then sobbed harder. “I’ve finally realized... she was like you. This girl who they killed for my body. She was someone like you.”

Claire bit her lip. “Well. But I know you wouldn’t have done it, if you’d known.”

“Does that matter? I knew everything I know now, but I hadn’t felt it.”

“Well,” Claire said again. “We’ve all done things we regret.”

“But there’s no way to go back. I’ll always be guilty of her death.”

Claire was silent.

“I’m sorry,” Juliet said. “I shouldn’t make you, of all people, comfort me. It just overwhelmed me, that I’ll never be free of this, now that I know you.”

She’d tried to explain to Juliet how well she understood, but it was actually Francois who’d helped her feel better.

Juliet was still in the kitchen with him, listening to him expound about the nature of guilt and forgiveness.

Claire had escaped into the outer room with the others.

Sage’s hand was draped over hers on the bar, casually rubbing her palm with his thumb.

She sat up and slid her hand away, pulling a rubber band out of her pocket to pull her hair back, as an excuse for moving away from him.

She knew she should probably be less casual with Sage, but he was so kind.He treated the other girls like that, too. She’d seen him rubbing Juliet's neck that morning, and he often touched Diva or Old Twin's arm in passing, just like he did with her. It wasn’t a big deal.

At least, she told herself that, but it was a big deal to her. She still wasn’t over her deep reaction to human touch. Apparently it took longer than a few weeks to make up for the years in the zoo. She'd missed a lot of things: good food, someone to talk to, socks, music, books, the ocean... but she hadn’t realized that the touch of human skin was so unique.

She knew the clammy touch of Spo skin, the warm roughness of the Merith, even the feel of the furry Tergre who sometimes clumsily shook her hand when they left the restaurant; but anytime she felt the fine grain texture of human skin, her nerves thrilled.