Grateful?

Trinity Carwile

Streams of crimson stained the pavement, the sticky liquid filling every crevice in the rough gray rock before my eyes. The miniscule, delicate cracks in the rock were made apparent, as my blank gaze was focused on the gray, synthetic horizon, paralyzed by the burning piece of metal in my brain. The bullet had brutally forged a fleshy path to the center of my brain, wiping my soul from my body with every inch it traveled. Memories, knowledge, all I had learned in my sixteen years; all for naught because someone had been pushed over the edge and I was the first person they saw as they fell, taking me with them in their downward plunge. The blazing pain was well worth it, however; all of my doubts, questions, and frustrations were beginning to make sense. It amazed me how simple the answers were; everyone thought that they would be some huge, complicated puzzle; the answer to a huge question, life itself, was bound to be something intricate and fantastic, wasn't it? It had to be, it must be. Just like our teachers always told us about tests: “Don't over-think it.” Life was just a test, after all.

A thumping filled my ears, and had my facial muscles been operational, I would have smiled at the irony that this vital mechanism designed by God to sustain me and keep me alive was pumping my life away with every beat. Ha. I guess that's just the way things work.

….

My eyes must have closed eventually, because from the darkness suddenly blossomed a searing light, boring into my very soul. This must be the light that everyone supposedly sees. What am I supposed to do? Oh, of course! Go towards it. The light flashed. Wait, something's wrong... I don't think the light of heaven is supposed to falter. Suddenly, I realized that I had a bizarre sensation. I- I could feel. My eyelids were fluttering like the wings of a new butterfly just released from its cocoon. Dead people don't blink, do they? Suddenly, my apparent vision cleared to show some beast in a green surgical mask and cap hovering over me. A man. A doctor.

No! This wasn't supposed to happen! I had been about to take a step into that blinding light; that beautiful, renewing light! I was about to enter eternal paradise!

Wait, should I be grateful? I had just been about to undertake the greatest journey, the most amazing adventure; but perhaps I needed to complete the one on Earth to prepare for that first step.