Freedom. They say it can come with the price of blood, the price of battle and sometimes a simple vote, but not for me.
It came with tears, unsaid words and closed doors. Shedding blood didn’t seem so bad right now.
In fact, I felt defeated and betrayed by my own heart. I wanted to know why all I had longed for, Williams between my sheets and his arms around me each morning, suddenly wasn’t enough.
When he held me, I felt held down. When he said he loved me, I doubted him and it was another form of torture. One I’m sure many horrible people have thought of using against another person.
And above all else, I felt lonely. So lonely.
Robert had once said, as he also turned his back on me, that sooner or later I would be alone. That I had spent all my energy on someone that wasn’t spending his time on me.
Now, as I waited for the taxi, I knew he was right.
I almost felt like I had fallen from grace, missed the bus or taken a wrong turn. I felt lost.
My friends, or my old friends seemed more then happy on facebook. Their private messages were becoming scarce and I missed them more.
The cab pulled up and I rose from my place in the gutter. I wasn’t a victim. I wasn’t one to sit around and just think of all the things that have gone wrong and blame another for my problems.
I was a fighter. I was the person who laughed and battled her way for the things she wanted and the people she loved. I was the best friend that loved her best friends like family.
I am Lexi Grant, and from this moment I wasn’t looking back. It was a new year, a new school and a new time.
This was the time for me.
I walked into the dorm room barely stopping to open the door completely. I was lucky enough to land the room and as the letter in my hand stated, I was very lucky. As I walked into the room and looked around I really started to believe it.
The room looked normal, almost like my one at home. Nothing unusual stood out. In fact, I was worried I’ll be stuck with someone who was either going to be a major slut and girly girl, or someone who had computers and servers scattered and networked around the room. Neither of those nightmares seemed to be in here.
I crossed the small room with one window, and made my way to the empty bed. Lucky for me it wasn’t a bunk, just a bed against the wall, that had a slightly smaller wall separating it from the rest of the room. A metre of privacy from my stranger room mate.
I placed my one bag of things on the bed and looked around. The other girl looked neat, tidy but not completely. Her bed was scattered with books and other pieces of paper.
The door opened and with a few steps, I was face to face with a girl roughly my height, bright red hair carrying two coffees and a paper bag under her arm. She smiled and her bright green eyes sparkled.
“Lexi?” she asked, reaching out and offering me the coffee.
“That’s me.” I greeted her, taking the coffee from her with a smile. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “I’m Grace. I’m glad you’re a caffeine addict, as well. I was hoping to purchase a coffee machine for up here. Others have them. Hey, do you know any one else here? Your hair is a lovely colour.”
She thankfully paused for a breath.
A rambler, she rambled and merged each sentence together into one. Good God.
“Sorry,” she smiled shyly. “I talk a lot.”
I took a large breath and smelt the coffee. It smelt great.
“It’s nice to meet you, Grace. I chose the right bed?”
She nodded and walked more into the room. Her freckled face was growing in a blush and I noticed another character trait of my new room mate, she was easily embarrassed.
“Yes, I actually swapped beds before you got here.” She admitted, and turned to smile at me.
“Is the bed horrible?” I asked her, turning to sit down on it. I could organise for my old one from home to be delivered if it was too horrible.
She shook her head. “No, the, ah, the person on the other side, is, ah, loud.” Her blush crept over her face and her neck grew red.
I smiled. “Don’t worry, I can sleep through anything.” Thanks to Mia, I was more then used to noise.
She nodded and sat on her bed. “Have you been attending Uni for the last month?”
I also nodded and took a sip of the drink. It was hot, too hot but I didn’t let her know. “Yeh, I’ve been coming, just not living on campus. My last living arrangements kind of…fell apart.” I told her, hoping she didn’t push for any more information.