1o1 funny sayings!!!
1: Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2: Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back.
3: time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4:Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5:I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6:Never answer an anonymous letter.
7:It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8:I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9:Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10: Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11:If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12: No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13:Give me abiguity or give me something else.
14:We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
15: He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16: Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
17: Always rember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18:Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19: There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
20: Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
21: Nuke the whales.
22: I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24: Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
26: As long as there are test, there will be prayer in public schools.
27: Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
28: Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30: You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
31:I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32: Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
33:We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34: 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
35: Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
36: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
37: I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38: Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39:My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
40: Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool
41:On the other hand, you have different fingers.
|Jen||as writer of this awesome book|