Draco Malfoy's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 31

A/N: I just want to forewarn you guys about this chapter. Its a pretty big chapter and I'm so proud of it. Its what most of you guys have been wanting for a long time. There's still plenty of questions to be answered, so we're not nearing the end just end. We have to veiw the after affects of his secret know that she knows right? So, anyway, be prepared to cry or cheer, either way I know you'll be estatic! I am. Don't forget to comment and vote in the midst of your celebrating, okay? haha.

I collapse at the end of the corridor. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t cope with all that tangle mess. I was a tangled mess because of the whole situation. Beating the hell out of Draco only subsided the pain and brought out the anger. I didn’t even know I was angry at him. I surprised myself the same as everyone else in that room. I didn’t think anyone would chase after me after that little scene, but Draco did. He even sat down next to me on the cold floor.

“I’m sorry,” we both said at the same time.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, Court,” he looked at me with loving eyes, one was starting to turn black from my little rampage, but they were still loving all the same. “I’m the one that needs to apologize,” he then stood and held out a hand to me. “Won’t you come with me?”

I looked at his hand and gulped. My inner thoughts were arguing with themselves. My heart told me to go. My head told me not to. What was I supposed to do? I so wanted to go with him, to talk this out finally so I wouldn’t have to wonder anymore. The other part was making me stay because he had hurt me too much. In the end, I put my hand in his.

“Here, sit down,” he said, gesturing to the sofa in the room he had taken me to. It was the Room of Requirement, and that conversation was a requirement. “I need to explain some things to you, Courtney. You know I’ve been keeping a secret-“

“More than a one,” I couldn’t help but interject.

He nodded. “More than one. I just thought that it was time that you knew about all these secrets that I’ve been keeping. It’s been killing me not telling you, but I think that now that it seems that we’re drawing to a close for good now, you need to know.”

“I know,” I whispered, looking down at my Hogwarts robes.

He took in a deep breath. “Courtney, I’m a deatheater.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“Wait, you know? How could you possibly know?” he looked straight at me and I knew I had to be honest with him since he was being honest with me.

“After Slughorn’s party, I chased after you and Snape-“

“And you overheard our conversation,” he sighed. “I guess that wasn’t a secret I could keep very long. There’s something else you need to know. I don’t know how to tell you this because I love you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, but this is going to hurt.”

He sat down next to me and I put my hand on his knee. “I know that too.”

He gulped. “You know? How do you know? I told you not to go to that party or wait,” he paused. “Did Pansy tell you?”

I shook my head. “I went to the party after you asked me not to. I just never made it in the door because I heard your dad announce your engagement, so I had to leave or I would’ve caused a scene.”

He nodded. “I beat that broke your heart.”

“It’s still broken, Draco,” I said as more tears streamed out of my eyes.

He then looked deeply into my eyes. “Let me fix it.”

I shook my head. “You can’t just break and fix my heart, Draco. That’s not how a relationship works. You know what,” I sigh and stood. “You just stay with what’s-her-name. I’m sure you’ll make her very happy and won’t break her heart over and over again.”

I made it all the way to the door before he appeared right in front of it. I kept a few feet back though. I don’t think I could handle it if he kissed me. I think I would crumble right in the middle of the floor and make a huge mess everywhere. That’s how fragile I was.

“You’re not her, though, Courtney,” tears were glistening on his face as well. “Why do you think I chose Giant weddings as our project? I wanted one chance to actually say ‘I do’ to the only person that I want to.”

“What do you mean that you want to?” I was clearly puzzled. That girl was more beautiful than I was. Why wouldn’t he want her? They made the perfect couple. Well, on the outside that is. “Are you saying that you don’t want to marry her?”

He shook his head. “Are you telling me that you didn’t get that this marriage is arranged? I get absolutely no say in who I marry. Not while I’m a deatheater, I don’t. If I so much as even think about not being one, I get punished.”

My breath caught in my throat. “He can read your mind?” The thought of Draco being punished because of me hurt my heart too much. No wonder why he distanced himself away from me.

He nodded. “He used to be able to, but I’m very well practiced in Occlumacy. I had to protect you, didn’t I?” he smiled a small smile. “I’ve gone through a lot these past two months just to learn it, but I’ve mastered it, or he would’ve found out about you. He knows that there’s a girl, but he doesn’t know who she is.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He hurt me just to protect me. That was so huge. I mean, it must’ve hurt him so much. The bags under his eyes. The weight loss. Was all that because of the stress of what he put me through or was it because of what he was putting him through?

“That’s too much, Draco,” I said, getting angry. “You didn’t have to put yourself through all of this because of me! I’m not worth all this trouble. Who cares if he comes after me? It’s my life, and I don’t care if I’m in danger-“

“Who cares? I care!” He closed the gap between us and pushed his lips hard onto mine. “I care, Courtney. I love you, God damn it and I was going to make sure that you lived. It’s my life that has no worth, but when I’m with you, I know that my life as some worth just because you love me.”

I didn’t get to say anything because he was kissing me again. That time I wasn’t the one that wanted to be kissed and was doing the kissing. He was kissing me, and I was just kissing back. I loved the feeling, and I loved him. Fred popped into my mind. Not now I mentally told him and pushed him to the back of my mind. Didn’t I spend the last day of vacation snogging him? Yes, but the whole time I was thinking of Draco. Was that right? Probably not. I pulled away from Draco and looked into his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered, waiting on me.

My gut told me to tell him what was on my mind, but my head told me that I shouldn’t. I swallowed hard. I did love him. I loved him with all of my heart. I loved him so much that it hurt. Should I say yes or should I say no? And to which part?

“I love you too,” I whispered and he was kissing me again.

He was tugging on my shirt. That was it. I had to make up my mind. Yes or no? Okay, I’ve made up my mind. How about no? How about yes? He was my everything or else why would I love him? I lifted my shirt over my head before he picked me up and brought me over to the couch. I let him trail kisses down my jaw line and onto my bare chest. I started to pull on his shirt, which he finished taking off for me. His lips then found mine again. Before I knew it, my pants were off. Suddenly, Draco stopped.

“Are you sure?” he whispered against my cheeks.

“Draco,” I said as he leaned up and looked me in the eyes. “If I didn’t love you, then I wouldn’t be sure. You and I have been through so much, and yet, your still everything that I want. You have broken my heart so much this year, but I don’t want you to stop loving me ever. I love you with all of my heart, which makes me completely sure.”

He smiled down at me. “You’re everything to me too. You are the only thing I have in this world that I actually want but didn’t ask for. So, I’m very glad that you’re sure.” And with that, we became one.