Bite Me

The Master Plan

 

Thirty Four-The Master Plan

“I have a plan!”

We all groan. “What? Does this one include dancing dolphins?” I snort.

Bart’s face falters. “N-no.” I roll my eyes and snort again. Yesterday we worked our asses off ‘restoring’ the household. I kinda still feel bad about that, but they told me not to worry. We’re all sitting in the living room, trying to come up with a plan to get Bones’s ass in jail.

But we’re all failing miserably, especially Bart.

All he does is come up with the stupidest plans I’ve ever heard. It makes a five year old look smarter than him. “Oh! I got one! We buy some mice, but they’re really not mice at all. They’re computer activated with cameras so we can control them, then send them to Bones! He’ll scream like a girl and call the rat poisoning dudes, and we’ll take over that place, so when he calls, he’ll be calling us! And then we’ll go over there and beat his ass to a pulp!”

We all stare at Bart, dumbfounded. “I stopped listening after mice.” I shrug flatly.

Nell nods. “Me too.”

Bart grunts. “I’d like to see you come up with something better.”

“Bartholomew, a dog could come up with something better. Hell, a blind dog could come up with something better!” Clinton snaps.

I thought of a plan thirty minutes ago, I just want to see what everybody else comes up with. For vampires, they’re not very smart.

“How bout we just send Nora as bait again?” Henry suggests.

In a blink of an eye, Charles as his arms around me protectively. “No.”

I roll my eyes. “Your so protective. “

“What can I say? I’m a protective, jealous, vampire, soul mate, boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s annoying.” He only laughs in response.

“Off topic!” Clinton snaps his fingers.

“Sorry. God. When did you become so bossy?” I mumble.

“Since you came along.” He responds flatly. “Now, back to plan thinking.”

“Clint?”

“Yeah?”

“I already came up with a plan.” I shrug, looking at my nails.

He frowns. “When?”

“Thirty minutes ago. I just wanted to hear Bart’s stupidity.”

“Hey!” Bart shouts. “That’s dumbness to you! Not stupidity!”

Clint ignores his stupid brother. “Please enlighten me with this genius plan of yours.”

“Alright.” I sigh. “Bones obviously knows I’m here. So, I’ll send him a fake note saying meet me in the woods, and I’ll go alone. But, you guys will be there, only in hiding. This time,” I glare at all of them, “Don’t fight. Just capture. If you have to, knock them out with Clinton’s needle, and don’t let the needle touch you. Idiots.”

Clinton revises my plan. “But how are you gonna get the note to him? We don’t know where he is.” He points out.

“Wrong sir!” I pound my fist on the table, making him jump. “He is guarding the woods, so I’ll just tape the note to a tree, and by tomorrow it’ll probably be gone. If not, then I’m screwed.”