Chapter 6
Six a.m. My stark Los Angeles apartment. I stretch, recline and meditate for thirty seconds, then I do my sit-ups and push-ups, and jump into the shower. Water streams down my face as I repeat, "I am grateful for VC money coming to me, I am grateful for VC money coming to me."
No sooner do I turn the shower off than my doorbell rings. I leap out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me. I open the door and experience déjà vu as Eve Gardner stands in front of me in one of her perfect double-C outfits. Before I can say anything, she holds up a digital camera and snaps a shot of me with dripping wet hair.
I scrunch my face. "Hi, um, what's with the a.m. photo shoot? Did you miss me? Or did we schedule an appointment this morning?"
"No, but you did, which means I do," says Eve as she enters. "Is there coffee?"
"Yes. But I think I'm experiencing a disconnect here."
"You mentioned a meeting this morning in your e-mail. I'm here to help you accomplish your goal. As a vital part of your presentation team, that puts me here...now." She pours herself a cup of coffee, tosses a colorful looking DVD on the counter, and whips out her Prada makeup bag.
I eye the DVD titled "Mademoiselle C". "What's that?" I ask? "Homework?"
"You're quick," she grins.
"May I remind you, Eve, that I'm not the student anymore. You are."
"Please don't try to crack jokes this early. It doesn't work. And if you want to get an A in life, you better watch that Mademoiselle C DVD... which happens to feature the former editor of Vogue Paris, a fashion-genius and clever entrepreneur, the great Carine Roitfeld."
"Hence the title, Mademoiselle C?" I ask.
"What? You think that deserves a gold star? I'll be quizzing you on the documentary later," she says, and drinks her coffee. "At least you make good coffee."
"This is awfully ambitious of you, Eve." I'm suspicious. I glance at her Prada bag on the counter kissing the edges of the Mademoiselle C DVD. "Might there be another reason for your visit?"
"Well, now that you mention it," she says, sipping coffee, "Professor Osaka wants a visual essay on the before and after effects of our internships, and I believe my contribution has a direct effect on the progress of your company."
"I should have known," I say. "He did this to my class. It's his way of helping students identify their strengths and weaknesses in business. Okay, well, let's get to it."
Eve smiles victoriously as she leads the way to my bedroom closet. I follow-wondering how that happened.
Eve quickly composes an outfit combining my new pantsuit with the new muted yellow sweater. She polishes me off with makeup and a stylized blow-dry. She admires my image in the mirror and remarks, "Ooh, I'm good. Now just transfer your stuff from that disgusting briefcase into my Prada bag and you're set."
I give her a look. "It's not disgusting, it's well loved. And while I do this, can you please bring me those letters of emancipation on my desk."
She brings a small stack of letters over to me. "What are you free of?"
"Debt. Remember, Eve, entrepreneurship is about taking risks, but you still have to be responsible and pay people back. Oops, I almost forgot." I lift my black ribbon to pin on me.
"Stop! What are you doing?" screams Eve. "You'll destroy the stitching."
"Eve, I have to wear this. It's part of the ritual. Mourners wear black ribbons for a month after shiva."
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THE FUNERAL PLANNER
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