Time To Heal [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER NINETEEN: THE TIME TO HEAL

Cuddled in the only place she ever wanted to be, Ana listened to Dev's ardent declaration with relish, letting him stew for some time before she confessed her feelings. It was true she'd figured out that much that she needed to forgive him to be able to build a life without resentment with him.

It was not going to be easy to forget all the past pain, but she was counting on him to build new memories to erase the bad ones. Wasn't that how forgiveness worked anyway?

Even as the positive thoughts surrounded her, she felt herself being freed from some inner shackles, and a genuine grin of complete bliss break on her face as she inhaled his so beloved scent. Thrilled, she hugged him tightly, vowing to herself that she would work hard for their relationship.

Looking up at him, waiting for his expression, she searched his face searching for anything which might make her want to back off. There was only a profound anguish, eyes caught in extreme tension as he waited for her response with an almost crazy desperation. There was no denying his misery.

"Okay," she answered simply.

To say Dev was taken aback would be an understatement. His green eyes widened in wonder, his two-days stubble giving him a raunchy look when his jaw dropped open in a gauche manner. She'd never seen him so out of his element and so ruffled in the entire time she'd known him. Usually, Devin Richard Crighton was the stereotype version of the perfect man – immaculately dressed with the right amount of confidence which constituted of his charm.

"Okay? As in okay for trying? Or okay for forgiving me? Or okay...?"

She could not help it, she giggled foolishly at his panicked reaction. Finally, she decided it was time to put an end to his despondency. "Okay as in I love you too."

This time, he jumped in reaction like someone had just pricked him with a pin, jerking away from their embrace in utter shock. "How can you love me? After all I did to you?"

"I must be some special kind of stupid," she jokingly delivered but instantly sobered when she caught the tormented look in the green depths. "What's wrong?" she asked in an alarmed voice when faced with such raw anguish.

Dev shook his head, opening his mouth before swallowing hard and repeating the action, his distress acutely prominent. "How can you love a monster like me?" he whispered hoarsely, his tone so stricken with the horror his words provoked that there was no doubt the compunction was genuine.

Ana gasped in shock, her hand flying to his face to offer comfort, her heart instantly denying his version. He was no monster! He'd suffered badly enough in the past which had inexorably turned him into a man full of bitterness and hate. It must not have been easy to witness his mother's suicide at the age of fourteen, to constantly replay that horrendous picture in his mind all his life.

It was not that she was making excuses for him, he'd set out for blood and she had been the one to pay but there was no point in keeping the past alive. The only meaningful lesson she'd learned from the whole nightmare at the expense of her happiness.

"I never stopped loving you Dev. Even when you left me and it hurt like hell, I just didn't know how to stop. I've loved you for the wonderful man you've been to me during our short relationship. So attentive to my every needs, so considerate when I was in pain. Please tell me this part wasn't phony."

"No, they weren't!" he protested vehemently. "For the first time in my life, I felt like someone needed me, I felt like your hero. I loved pampering you although I had the misconception that it was what you expected of me."

"I'm not talking about the expensive gifts," she corrected. "I adored the way you took care of me when I was sick, or when you gallantly pulled off my chair. It made me feel like the most special woman on earth. I never had anyone to put my needs before theirs before."