CHAPTER 27: The Pain of goodbye
It’s been 2weeks since I sacrificed him…
Brian is finally my boyfriend.
When he returned, I said my I love you to him. I know it’s not true, I’m sorry Brian if I have to do this to you. But don’t worry, I know I could learn to really love you fully and truly. Who couldn’t love someone as sweet and as caring as you, right?
And Cedric, he is back with Kyla. he did what I asked him to do. Thanks so much for everything & I’m very sorry for doing this to you but I know you’ll eventually learn to love her too.
Tapos na rin ang klase.
“Bye Sai! Ingat!” tumingin ako sa seatmate ko sa kaliwa at ngumiti at nagwave.
New sem. new schedule. New subjects. New classmates. New seatmate.
Cedric changed some units, including the unit where we were classmates.
Yeah right, we have that d@mn restart. But thing just re-happened. maybe this must be our real destiny, NOT TOGETHER. he’s not my happily ever after & I’m not his forever and ever. Sad, but that’s how it got to be.
I went out of the room to see Brian patiently waiting for me, he went to get my things and gave me a peck, ”How’s my princess?”
”Eto, kinda sleepy, yung prof kasi namen eh.” kinusot kusot ko yung mata ko para mawala yung antok tapos umakbay sakin si Brian at naglakad na kami paalis.
”Hungry?” I shook my head, ”You sure?”
I nod. The more kindness and sweetness he shows, the more guilt I feel. Ano ba kasi heart,mainlove ka na kay Brian please!
We were heading to the campus’ parking when I saw Cedric with Kyla, luckily, Brian didn’t see them because I turned around as soon as possible and pulled him out of the park.
”T-teka, aren’t we going home yet?”
”On second thought, I think I’m hungry. Let’s eat first before going.”
At the canteen, I bought so many foods and pigged-out on it.
”I thought you weren’t hungry Sai?” ok, napa-stop ako sa pagkain. Yes, I wasn’t that hungry but when I saw him, I just felt like eating.
You know the feeling that you’re so hurt and you want to go crazy but you just can’t so you ended up pigging-out on foods? That’s what I’m feeling right now. Para bang pampawala ng sakit at sama ng loob ‘tong ginagawa kong pagkain.
”Uh… nagbago ng isip ang tyan ko eh.. gutom daw pala.. ehehe…”
”naku, hinay-hinay lang sa pagkain ah, baka mabulunan.” and upon saying that eh nabulunan nga ako. Inabot ko kaagad yung mountain dew ko at dire-diretsong uminom.
”ayan, nabulunan ka nga. Gimme a number.”
”C’mon, a number.”
”Ok, A, B, C… someone who’s name is starting with a “C” remembered you.”
”C? hmm…” … Cedric?
Ok. Natahimik kami parehas dahil sa letter “c”. very awkward. Yung “c” rin ata na iniisip ko ang iniisip nya eh…
I can’t take this silence anymore kaya I decided to break the silence, ”Ah! I know, it must be Cheska, my seatmate.”
”Ah oo nga. Baka nga si Cheska.” yeah… si Cheska. Marami namang “C” sa mundo right? And why the heck do I have to believe in such thing!
Its Saturday night & I decided to go outside our house to take a walk. Going wherever my feet drag me. I feel so blank. Why can’t I just be happy? Everything’s at peace already right? Right?
“Ano ba! Watch where you’re going! Tatanga-tanga!”
”Sorry po. Sorry.” sabi ko habang nakayuko.
“Tss.” At umalis na yung babaeng nabangga ko ng di sinasadya. I’m still as clumsy as ever. Geez…
Magpapatuloy na sana ulit ako sa kawalang hangganang paglalakad pero napatigil ako nang asarin ako ng tadhana at saktong nakita ko sa isang restaurant na malapit sakin na lumabas sina Cedric at Kyla, happily together while holding hands. I watched them walk away hand in hand. Having all the flashbacks in mind.
Starting from how Cedric and I met to how we became a couple, to our dates and happy moments until we broke up. Then the days were I cried and cursed him then it came to the part where I met kyla at the school gate and we became close friends and then she introduced me to her cousin Brian and we became close wherein I came to the point of liking him and then the flashback were the four of us where on the same table for a dinner date and Kyla’s announcement came and same with Brian’s. and also the time when Cedric and I had a restart and we were ambushed by those bad guys and then he confessed the truth to me and we both thought that everything was going to be okay again until Kyla heard all of it. And the flashback didn’t stop there, it continued up to the point wherein I sacrificed the man I love for Kyla and also the part where I told Cedric that Brian was better than him. And the flashback ended at the part wherein I turned my back to Cedric...
”Hanggang dito na lang tayo diba?” a tear fell and after it fell slowly, another followed and another and another until the tears kept on flowing.
I am standing there, feeling so crushed. I feel so alone beside the fact that I am surrounded by people walking around not caring if someone like me is suffering for they have their own business to mind.
”STOP!!!” I want to shout it but I cant… I want them all to stop so I can say that I’m so crushed, I want them to know, I want them to forget what they’re doing and comfort me. I want to be selfish… :’(
November pa lang but I can already feel the spirit of Christmas, malamig na eh. Hmm.. buti nagjacket ako, I decided to have a walk kasi it was too boring sa house.
Chineck ko yung phone ko to see kung nagtext na si Sairyl. Bigla kasi syang di na nagreply. Hmm… nah, no reply pa rin hanggang ngayon. Nakatulog na kaya? That sleepyhead.
Haay.. I just can’t help myself but to smile whenever my mind reminds me that the girl I’ve been always wanting to have is finally mine. Kahit medyo nakakabigla na sinagot nya ako agad eh it doesn’t matter, basta, ang mahalaga eh I could tell the world that she’s my girlfriend already. I’m the luckiest guy!
”Sairyl?” napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang mapansin ko sa malayo si Sairyl na nakahawak sa dibdib nya at parang nahihirapan. Pero nabigla ako ng bigla syang tumumba, hinimatay ata kaya agad akong tumakbo palapit sa kanya.
”Sairyl?! SAiryl?!” nagkagulo na rin ang mga tao, marami ng nakiki-usyoso.
“tabi, tabi.” may biglang lumapit saking babae at pinaiisog ako, tinignan ko lang sya, “don’t worry, I’m a doctor.”
Pagkarinig ko non eh hinayaan ko na sya, chineck check nya si Sairyl tapos maya-maya eh may kinakapa sya sa mga bulsa ni sairyl at mula sa bulsa ng jacket ni Sairyl ay may nakuha syang bote ng pills and isang syringe na sa tingin ko ay may laman.
“Thought so. She didn’t manage to drink this pill buti dala nya ‘tong panturok.” Binuksan nya yung takip ng panturok and injected it to Sairyl. After that tinapat nya tenga nya sa dibdib ni Sairyl, like she was listeng to Sairyl’s heartbeat.
“ok, she’s fine now. Next time, don’t leave her alone. Whenever she have attacks, be sure to apply the medicine immediately.”
”huh? What are you talking about?”
“eh? you mean you know her but you don’t know her condition?”
”Condtion? What condition?”
“You don’t know that she have a certain illness on the heart but I’m not quite sure what disease is that. I’m not her doctor after all.”
I was dumb-founded as well as shocked.
She’s sick. Since when?