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Funny Democracy & Government Quotes

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*** American Politics ***

"Any American who is prepared to run for President should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from every doing so." Gore Vidal.

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." Will Rogers.

"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git." Alexai Sayle.

"In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes." Adlai Stevenson.

"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep." Clinton aide George Stephanopolous.

"The Internet is a gateway to get on the net." Bob Dole.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." Dan Quayle (...more Dan Quayle Quotes).

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." David Dinkins, New York City Mayor.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers We are the president." Hillary Clinton.

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." Al Capone.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." A Congressional Candidate in Texas.

"A fool and his money are soon elected." Will Rogers.

"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks." Robin Williams.

"Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in." Harry S. Truman.

"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done." Fred Allen.

"Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?" Tom Lehrer.

"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife." James H. Kabbler III.

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago." Dan Quayle (...more Dan Quayle Quotes).

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers." Daniel J. Boorstin.

*** George W Bush ***

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself."

"The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case."

"If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura."

*** Winston Churchill ***

When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticise or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home.

"A sheep in sheep's clothing" On Clement Atlee

A modest man, who has much to be modest about On Clement Atlee

"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Atlee got out" On Clement Atlee

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived" On Stanley Baldwin

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened" On Stanley Baldwin

"He looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe" On Neville Chamberlain

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison" Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!" Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

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