i won the soul of the sun

save me pls *begs* :(

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The door to vampyreland is left open,
but it is a one-way portal
through which my mortal love can pass but once.
If you come into my world, it is forever,
on a bed of toadstools
with bloodwine served in tiny gold thimbles.
My wings are black,
molting with summer’s passing.

I tell you pain-filled secrets
that leave me defenseless,
for now you could scratch at the wounds.
The hurt is what makes you hunt a cure.
It is what makes me whole.
Pleasure's sibling,
older but no wiser,
it lures me to your
starlight-nightlights
but leaves me always one step removed
a lost cousin
my nose pressed to each new night
looking for a way in.

    I gather storms,
   acorns to plant in my narrow bed.
   On summer days blue and bright
   I nibble the stolen thunder
   and wash it down with rain,
   pale thin blood of the tempest.
   You would do well to gather storms now too.
   There is more substance in a cloud
    than most human hearts.

   Once I lost my mind beneath a wooden bridge
   where mushrooms grew wild and speckled,
   delectable eggs of the fertile cosmic womb.
   Vampires are gluttons
   so I played there crazy to the bone
   watching the moonfall
   and the rainshine night
   drinking the stars in my cupped hands.
   I scooped up the sun, evil morning fruit,
   to steal its reflection from the river
   dribbling it through my fingers
   until it was gone.
   It came back of course,
   fractured water all aglow, mending.
   So I beat at it with a willow stick
   until it turned wrong side out
   and sank to the bottom,
   a popped yellow balloon.
   Scholars said it was only an eclipse.
   You and I know better.
   I won the soul of the sun that once,
   because I was crazy enough
   to believe I could.