Life Is What You Make It (Student/Teacher <3)

Chapter 14

Recap:

"Once i tell you, I won't blame you if you walk right out that door and never speak to me again." His eyes seemed so sad. What could possible be that bad?

I stroked his face with my hand and gave him a peck on the lips, "That will never happen. You're stuck with me." I gave him a small chuckle and he let a little smile fall on his face. 

"It all started........"

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“It all started when I was really young. My mom used to work all the time as a nurse at the hospital so my dad would be at home watching my siblings and I. My siblings, Mason and Savannah, hated my dad and I was oblivious to the reason back then, I was always super close with my dad and I wanted to be just like him. When I was 13 my dad started giving me alcohol and I drank it, I immediately became hooked. I drank all the time and just like my dad, I got really violent when I was drunk. I became a real douche bag to everyone, even my mom. I was my dad’s pride and joy and then one day he didn’t come home from the bar. He called me telling me that he left my mom for the waitress at the bar, he promised to come back for me. He moved away and I haven’t seen him since I was 16.” I stopped for a minute to calm myself down.

“I started hitting the sauce more and more to try and drink away the pain from him. I started flunking classes in school and becoming more and more violent. I’d slap my mom, punch my brother, and push my sister, whatever it took to get me what I wanted whether it’d be more money for alcohol or just alcohol. My best friend, Michael, tried to get me to stop because he knew I was throwing away my future but I ignored him. One day I got a call from Michael’s mom, Julie, and she told me to get to the hospital right away because Michael was in the ICU. I got there and he was on his death bed. I still remember the last thing he said to me.”

 “Michael!” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Seth, I’m gonna die and I have to tell you something.” He spoke so quietly I could barely hear him.

“You’re not going to die Mike!” I was trying to convince myself more than him.

“Bullshit. Seth listen, stop drinking. Graduate high school and go to college, be a teacher like you always wanted. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy.” He started coughing like he was going to cough up a lung.  “Live your life for you and me.”

“NO! You live your life! You’ll be fine.” My body was shaking I was crying so hard.

He shook him head no. “Take care of my mom, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Then his heart rate flat lined. I got up, wiped my tears and went to be Julie’s shoulder to cry on. She has no one but Michael.

I looked up into Rachel’s eyes and noticed they were red and puffy with tears streaming out of them. “I checked myself into rehab that day and I didn’t touch the stuff for 4 years, not until recently. I only have the urge to drink when I’m extremely worried or scared and even then I don’t give into the urge. I haven’t had a drink since the incident at the hotel. I just get like that no matter how much alcohol I have in me, which is why I gave it up.”

I stared at Rachel waiting for her to say something, anything. It seemed like hours but it was only minutes before she got up and walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind her. I felt my heart break into two and the hot tears cascading down my face as soon as the door closed. I sank down to the floor and leaned against the wall, putting my head in my hands.

I don’t blame her for leaving. Who would want to stay with a person who can’t even have a beer without going psycho? Who lies to their partner? Who can’t even hole their partner’s hand in public? I heard the door shut and I knew for sure that she was gone. She left and she’s never coming back. I just sat there for a while thinking about what to do. Should I go after her? No, she probably wouldn’t listen and I don’t blame her. Should I just let her go? No, because then she’ll think I don’t care about her. But on the other hand I should let her go because she would be better off without me.