Unchaining Alice

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

There were very few things that had ever excited Alice. Travelling to a rare Catholic church in London was one of them. Annie had lent her the carriage that she and Joseph used so that she might take the afternoon to herself. It was the first time she had ever driven a carriage so it was a little intimidating for her to be in control of a horse from above. She committed Little J’s directions to memory and used her good sense of direction to find her way.   

The church was a little out of the way and she drove the carriage for a good half hour before she arrived. Just being at a place where people like her were welcomed made Alice feel as though things might fall into place for her.

Her guilt and responsibility could well be vanquished. Her conscience would be clear so that she might be able to let herself fully trust James so that true, strong love could possibly develop. What she wanted most of all was for the priest to tell her what to do. She wanted to know if there was a right and wrong in what she was doing. She wanted James, but she wanted to make sure her brother’s sacrifice had not been made in vain.

The outward appearance of the church was not largely spectacular, not when one had seen Notre Dame. It was a plain, red brick building that was two storeys high. There were two steps up to the front door from the street. It did not give off the appearance of a church at all. Nevertheless, Alice persevered. She didn’t know what to do with the driving horse so she used the steps from inside the carriage to stop the carriage from moving by wedging it under the front wheel.

She nervously walked up the few steps and opened the door slowly. Peering inside, she was shocked. Her initial thoughts on the church were completely wrong. It was beautiful! The ceilings were high and the pews were made of a lovely dark timber. A second level also housed more seating and which gave Alice the thought that hymns must sound incredible when sung around the large room. In them were a few people who were quietly praying. Candles were lit everywhere and an organ was in the corner ready to be played come next mass.

A man wearing white robes emerged from a back room and he walked down the altar toward her. He looked like a kindly, old man as he smiled at her warmly. His caring, brown eyes searched her face and he nodded approvingly. “I am Father Walker and I will hear your confession, my child,” he promised her. Gesturing to the room in which he’d come out of, Alice started walking.

Father Walker followed her through to the confessional. The confessional was made of the same dark timber as the pews. Father Walker entered into the second door of the confessional and closed it behind him, Alice entered the first and closed it behind her. It was a small box like room with a simple seat. Separating her and the priest was thin veil so that only their voices could be heard.

Saying the words that she had not spoken for several years, Alice began her confession. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” At that moment, Alice heard a squeak that made her jump but she didn’t hear anything further so she figured that the priest had made the noise.

“What is your sin, my child?” Father Walker asked patiently.

Where to begin? “I have broken the fifth commandment,” she admitted.

“And how have you dishonoured your mother and father?” Father Walker replied.

“I failed them,” Alice began quietly. “I failed to uphold their beliefs and I brought shame on our family. My family was ‘eavily involved in the revolutions in France, Father.”

She heard Father Walker sigh. She trembled. “One mustn’t live the life another has planned,” he said calmly. “One must make decisions that they are able to live with. So long as you can go to God with a clear conscience, you have no dishonoured anyone.”