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Thanks, Elise (
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I'm an idiot.


We were standing there all alone and I had no idea what to say. He asked me out and all I wanted to do was hold him close and never let go. He was my security blanket, someone I could go to no matter what I felt or thought he made me feel safe, amazing.

"Will you...?" He asked suddenly looking worried and pale.

"I-I can't." I stammered.

The pain spread across his face in seconds. I felt the guilt and pain making its way through me taking twists and turns like water in sand it was just trying to sink in. Sink it to every twist and turn.

He turned before giving me a weak smile. I wanted to go after him, tell him that I would do anything to go out with him. What was I thinking? Why did I say no, I really wanted to say yes! I'm the biggest idiot. Maybe it's because I couldn't believe it. Scott asking me, ME out. He had become the most popular guy in the school after a few weeks and had all the prettiest girls lined up just to talk to him. Yet he asked me.

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"Oh my god Alice!" An excited girl said from behind me.

I turned around and looked at her. Straight strawberry blonde hair, light blue eyes, tan, she was stunning.

"Yeah?" I'd never talked to her before, only to say hi. Why was she talking to me now?

"How'd you do it? How did you get Scott - THE Scott - the popular, absolutely gorgeous, perfect Scott?"

"Um, sorry what?"

"He did ask you out right? Cause that's what's going around the whole school, everyone knows!"

My jaw dropped slightly and I felt the pain surge through me.

"Oh, yeah he did." I couldn't hide the sadness from my voice.

"So how'd you get him to like you? I mean seriously all the girls have been going after him like mad and you are like his best friend right? And he asks you out! It's amazing really!" She smiled brightly flashing her perfect straight, shining white teeth.

"Um, I'm not sure."

"Oh bummer! Well if you find out tell me please, I would really appreciate it. That boy is absolutely delicious! I'd eat him up in seconds." She said snickering a little.

I wanted to hit her, as if I would tell her if I found out! Stupid pretty, nice bitch! I sighed; don't take it out on her I thought. I gave her a fake smile then turned and walked away. I could hear a few other girls run up and ask about what happened. They were all screaming and I could hear a few "ooooh! Ahhhh's.

I walked and sat down, alone. I lay my head against the cool bricks and shivered a little as I relaxed a little. I thought about everything. When we were little, when we stopped seeing each other and I thought I'd never see him again, when I ran into him at the shops, when he moved to my school. Then he asked me out. My thoughts seemed to be in a whirlpool which kept getting faster and faster. I felt like I was on a gigantic rollercoaster which was going fast and which was making me feel sick. My thoughts went back to when I told Kim what had just happened. I could almost feel the warm tears which had rolled down my cheeks. When I told Kim she slapped me. Yeah she actually slapped me.

"What the hell Kim, that hurt!"

"Snap out of it Al, why did you say no! You really like him!"

"I know, I don't know why I said no." I admitted to her and myself.

She shook her head but apologized for slapping me. I said it didn't matter since it didn't. She was doing the right thing. I had to snap back into reality. Will it be awkward with Scott now? Will he even want to talk to me? Will he go out with that pretty blonde? Who was she anyway? She was right though, he is bloody delicious. I was so tired, exhausted. All my energy and excitement was gone. What had I done? I just said no to the guy of my dreams. I rubbed my face a little then felt something wet across my hand. I was crying, again. I really am an idiot aren't I!